life

The New Year Is a Time For New Intentions

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | January 1st, 2020

DEAR READERS: Happy new year! Happy new decade! Have you thought about it? This year we are not only celebrating a new year, but we are stepping into a brand-new decade. The potential for each of us is enormous. I always look at the coming of the new year with hope and conviction. It is a blessing to wake up and face the world one more day. Somehow that blessing feels bigger when the new year comes around.

How can we make it bigger in our own lives? By being conscious and intentional in our thoughts, words and deeds. Too often, people stumble into the day, waking up late, rushing to get to a meeting, engagement or activity on time, attempting to avoid being late.

What if you took a different approach? What if you made the choice to get up a little earlier, carve out some quiet time to reflect on your plans, then execute your day? Allowing yourself a few minutes of peace to gather your thoughts and set your intention can make a the difference in how productive you are.

Since it is a new decade, you can also consider a two-track approach to your life. Write down your goals and objectives each day for your day-to-day responsibilities and desires. Then write a second list that includes your big-picture thinking. What are the goals that you want to fulfill this year and perhaps even over 10 years? What are your big ideas?

To unlock those ideas, I believe in meditation and vision boarding. Sit down for a few minutes a day and quietly ask yourself what’s on your heart. What do you want to do with your life? Breathe deeply and get as still as you can so that you can listen to the voice inside as it reveals information to you. Whatever comes up, write it down. Don’t judge. Just look at your harvest of ideas and notice if anything stands out.

Next, create a vision board. It sounds hard, but it’s not! Get a piece of cardboard and pull out some old newspapers, magazines or other visual material. Look through them and pick out words and images that speak to your dreams. Cut them out and put them on your board. Add words and phrases as they come to you. Place them on your board.

When you feel that you are finished, review your work and notice what you have created. This is where your big vision lies. From this vision board, create a tangible list of steps that you think will help you to manifest your big idea(s). The more specific and detailed you get in terms of steps, the more likely you will fulfill your dreams.

If you keep your two lists active and you look at them EVERY DAY, you will see results over time. Commit to spending one hour per day on your progress, and you will be amazed at how far you can get. This type of resolution is for a lifetime, not just the start of a year, which means that if you have days that you don’t pay attention, you just start again. Don’t think failure, think success. Ask yourself if you deserve to be successful. If so, recommit whenever you feel that you have been distracted. Keep track of your progress, and revel in each small victory!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Reader Upset With Client’s Delayed Payment

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 31st, 2019 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who owes me a substantial amount of money, and I have been waiting for nearly five months for the check to come through. It’s crazy. Ninety days is standard for this company, but it’s almost double that now. When I asked about the payment about two months ago, I was assured that it would be paid in a matter of days. I don’t want to be annoying, but I do want my money. How should I proceed? I want to keep them as clients, so I need to tread lightly. -- Time To Pay up

DEAR TIME TO PAY UP: You have every right to follow up about your payment. Point out that you are now in a new year, and you had hoped to be up to date before now. Speak to your contact person and ask what the holdup is and whether you can physically come in to retrieve your check. If they pay electronically, ask to have the money transferred immediately. Press to learn when you can expect your payment. You can be firm without being rude. It is your money, and you deserve to have it. Let your client know that you have been patient, but you need this invoice to be paid. If you still get no response, you may have to go directly to accounts payable. Small claims court is a worst-case scenario.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for December 31, 2019

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 31st, 2019 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is in high school. He is mainly a good student, but he struggles in a couple of classes. He comes home frustrated by certain lessons, including his inability to understand some of the things that one teacher is sharing. I have suggested that he request private time with the teacher to review his questions, but he says that doesn’t help. We had a meeting with his adviser to try to get some help, but he is still struggling.

Should I write to the principal or complain to the teacher? It is important for my son to pass these classes and to learn the material. I want to advocate for him, but I realize he is a teenager and should be speaking up for himself. -- When to Step in

DEAR WHEN TO STEP IN: Ideally, you should coach your son to be proactive. He needs to learn how to advocate for himself. But when he does not do so, you should step in and be his cheerleader. Ask him what he is doing to get the support he needs. Recommend that he meet with the teacher. Find out if he completes that loop. Ask him to speak to his adviser for guidance.

If none of these things work, then schedule a meeting with the teacher first, followed by the adviser and principal with your son, where you talk about his challenges and ask for support. If nothing works internally, consider hiring a tutor to help your son strengthen his understanding of the subject matter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Partygoer Hates Seeing Photos Later

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 30th, 2019 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going to a lot of holiday parties and end-of-year events in the past few weeks. It has been a lot of fun -- until I see myself in photos. I don’t usually take pictures, but I have seen photos of me that have been posted on different people’s social media pages, and I hate how I look. I have no misconceptions about myself as a middle-aged person, but I feel like people pick shots where they look good and they don’t care about how the other people look. I hate that.

What can I do to take a better picture, considering that I do want to go out and mingle, but I don’t want the memories to look crazy? -- Picture Perfect

DEAR PICTURE PERFECT: Before you leave your house, look at yourself in the mirror, head to toe, front to back, and side view. Do you like what you see? Are your clothes fitting well? Is your hair neat? Are you well-groomed? Choose clothing that skims the body, adding definition without being too tight.

When someone is taking a photo, pay attention to where you are in the shot. Make yourself as flat in the image as you can, meaning stand facing the camera without too much twisting of your body. Stand up straight, shoulders back, tummy in, bottom tucked under. Keep your arms down. Do not have food or drinks in your hands. Smile. Call upon your inner joy. When you are in a good mood, that is usually reflected in a photo.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for December 30, 2019

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | December 30th, 2019 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor has a young child who cries a lot. I know that it must be hard to raise a child, but it seems like the mom is exercising tough love or something, because when the baby cries, it doesn’t sound like she comforts him. He can cry for hours. It drives me nuts. As a single man, I don’t want to seem insensitive, but this crying is keeping me awake at night. Is there anything I can say to this new mom? What else can I do to keep my sanity? -- Crying Baby

DEAR CRYING BABY: I would not knock on the neighbor’s door to complain about the baby as it will not result in a positive exchange. That mother is stressed out enough. Her child may have colic, which makes them irritable for extended periods. There may be other reasons, including the method the mom uses to comfort her child. Unless it sounds like the baby is in danger, you have to figure out how to deal with the cries on your side of the wall.

You can put rugs in the room that has the adjoining wall. Rugs absorb sound. You might consider getting a noise cancellation machine. It’s like a fan but it creates a sound that helps to soften ambient noises. Or just wear earplugs.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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