DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I address ChatGPT? I deal with this creation every day. It responds to my questions and requests in a friendly, chatty manner. Its responses seem almost human.

Am I required to say "hello" to it before I begin? Must I say "please" when asking my questions? Must I thank it afterwards?

Or is it acceptable to treat it as a mindless automaton -- which it is?

GENTLE READER: Yes, it is mindless. So are dolls and stuffed animals, but we encourage children to treat them kindly.

Why? To form habits of politeness.

The unfortunate requirement of saying “Hey!” to get the attention of a certain nonhuman helper has led to the widespread rudeness of summoning human beings the same way. How much better it is to distribute a few not-strictly-necessary pleases and thank-yous than to run the risk of developing coarse habits.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do I have to host my in-laws for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner? We all rotate who hosts, and it is probably my family’s turn. But my in-laws are terrible guests.

They show up late. They don’t take their shoes off. They offer to bring a side dish, but either don't follow through or bring something entirely different. They let their kids run wild -- jumping off the furniture, pulling out every toy, playing roughly and making messes. After the family meal, they don’t offer to clean up or even clear the table. They just leave piles of dirty dishes everywhere while they sit and converse for hours.

I feel bad shirking my duty, but it’s not fun to be so stressed and resentful for the holidays.

GENTLE READER: Indeed, these are all good reasons not to want to entertain these difficult people. But Miss Manners can think of two good reasons to do so anyway:

1. They are your in-laws.

2. It is your turn.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was dining solo, and a family with two small children was seated in my section. One toddler decided to treat the restaurant to prolonged, high-pitched shrieks.

I didn’t want to cause a scene, but the shrieking was definitely ruining my experience. What’s a single diner to do?

GENTLE READER: Send over a cookie? Well, two, so that the other child doesn’t start to shriek. (Notice that Miss Manners assumes that you would rather solve the problem than punish the parents.)

Of course, you can simply ask to be reseated in a quieter area, if such is available. But surely the cookie solution is more satisfying -- at least to you and the shrieker, if the parents don’t object.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have family members who respond to any of my misfortunes by explaining how they were smart enough to avoid the same situation.

For instance, my wedding ring often needs repairs, as the stones frequently fall out. My sister-in-law always reminds me that her ring does not do this because she chose a heartier style. This happens in other circumstances, too.

GENTLE READER: The phrase you want is “How nice FOR you,” with the emphasis on the “for.” Repeat as necessary.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I take my sons to the pediatrician or call to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse always calls me Mom. I give them my name, but they never use it, and continue to call me Mom.

I love being a mom, don’t get me wrong. And I love my sons. But this drives me bananas. I’m not these people's mom!

Am I overreacting? If so, I’ll let it go. I do realize that it probably makes life easier for the staff, and I hope I’m not being rude by correcting them. Maybe some people like being called Mom.

But there’s something about it that feels a little condescending, like I’m not a separate person from my children.

GENTLE READER: “Which mother? I’m Mrs. Starwood.” (Or “Dr. Starwood,” if it applies and you wish to pull rank.)

If that does not work -- or is forgotten the very next visit -- Miss Manners permits you to be annoyed. But then she recommends you let it go. For the purposes of this visit, you are an extension of the child.

And while these professionals could make a bit more effort, you do not want to squabble with your child’s caregivers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited my best friend to a concert more than a month ahead of the performance. She said she would have to get back to me, as it falls on her sister’s birthday weekend. Two weeks later, I still haven’t heard from my friend.

Meanwhile, my 11-year-old son asked if he could attend with me. His father will also be there. I would rather bring my son. What is the best way to handle this?

GENTLE READER: “I assumed that since I didn’t hear from you, you were unable to attend the concert. Marcus expressed an interest, so he will be coming with me. I hope to see you at another event soon.”

Miss Manners notes that this has the added advantage of alerting your friend that if she expects to attend the next event, she had better act more quickly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I were attending a college production of “HMS Pinafore.” A student was sitting directly in front of me wearing a white baseball cap.

I could tell the hat was going to detract from my pleasure in the show, so I asked the young man, “Would you mind removing your hat? It is a bit of a distraction.” He complied, and I thoroughly enjoyed the play.

The next day, my wife informed me that she had been embarrassed by my behavior, that I was in the wrong, and that wearing a hat in the situation was routinely accepted in today’s society.

Am I an incorrigible antique, or was she right?

GENTLE READER: An incorrigible antique herself, Miss Manners agrees with you, and maintains that baseball hats should not be worn inside anything other than a stadium. The argument that it is now routinely accepted does not move her.

But the fact that the student politely complied should be more important than your wife’s objection. If he was not upset or embarrassed, why should she be?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I the one who is in the wrong here? When I invited several friends to dinner recently, I was shamed and criticized about what I was serving.

One of my friends invited another guest to join us, and it turns out he is a very strict vegan. I wasn’t even aware that he was coming.

Prior to dinner, this fussy/picky guest realized that I was serving chicken with orange sauce and a dab of honey. He then opened my refrigerator and said, “I see ricotta, buttermilk, cottage cheese, milk, mozzarella, half-and-half, butter and heavy cream!” Then he slammed the door shut and remarked, “Someone needs to teach you how to shop more humanely!”

What’s wrong with me and my shopping? Or should I cultivate new friends?

GENTLE READER: Other than your having a clear affinity for dairy products, Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with your shopping.

But there is something terribly wrong with a friend who brings an uninvited guest, especially one who openly criticizes the host and the food. Guests can make their more extreme food preferences known, if asked -- but that would require that the guest be asked to attend the dinner in the first place.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am at the age where many of my friends’ children are marrying. I am always delighted to be invited to celebrate with the happy couples, and pleased to give a wedding gift to start them out in life.

Alas, I very rarely receive an acknowledgment of my gifts. This seems to be accepted behavior.

What should I do when the invitation to give a gift for the impending baby arrives? My baser self would very much like to snarl that they have a lot of nerve sticking their hands out again, but I value my friendships with their parents.

So far, I have taken a deep breath, sent a gift and talked about them behind their backs -- like decent people do.

Does Miss Manners have a suggestion for a polite way of indicating that, since they couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge the first gift, subsequent gifts should not be solicited?

GENTLE READER: Decent people do not, as you said, admonish people directly. Nor do they go looking for trouble. If the impending babies do indeed materialize, Miss Manners suggests you politely decline the invitation -- both to attend any festivities and to provide a present.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have a great relationship with our ex-son-in-law. He is coming to visit us with his girlfriend, whom we have met via video chat; we like her, too.

How do we introduce them to people? “This is our ex-son-in-law and his girlfriend”?

GENTLE READER: That might encourage uncomfortable follow-up questions for the girlfriend. Miss Manners suggests instead that you introduce them by their names. After doing so, you may add, “Carter is like a member of our family, and we are so pleased to get to know Ellie.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)