DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a serious collector of rare and antiquarian books. I purchase a great number of them, although I am also very particular about what I buy.
Most rare and antiquarian bookstores today are open only by appointment. My experience is that the store owner will usually respond to a request to open the shop, but I am reluctant to ask.
If I overcome this reluctance, I feel uncomfortable if I do not purchase anything after the owner has opened up especially for me. These concerns have frequently led me not to ask for an appointment at all.
What is the correct way in which to handle this situation? Should I feel obligated to purchase something if I have scheduled an appointment? I always thank the owner, but is there anything else I should do to assuage my guilt when I find nothing suitable to purchase?
GENTLE READER: Reasonable businesspeople know that not every business interaction ends in an immediate transaction. Enlightened businesspeople realize that your demonstrated, genuine gratitude will likely translate into the kind of advertising that cannot be purchased: the word of someone who feels a debt to repay excellent service, often in the form of return trips and recommending your business to others.
Miss Manners realizes that there are businesspeople who are neither reasonable nor enlightened. So she suggests that, in addition to expressing gratitude, you say that you are going to be sure to recommend them every chance you get.