DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine, who lives in the same city, recently reached out: She had invited guests to stay with her the coming weekend, but the number of guests meant that she had nowhere to sleep, so she wanted to know if she could stay with me.
I said yes, but that I would be preparing for a work trip, leaving early Sunday morning for the airport. I said she was welcome to stay overnight and leave the keys on the counter when she left.
I truly don't mind having guests -- it's why I bought a place with extra space -- but it feels like her agreement to host her guests has somehow ended up my responsibility. And I had only a few days' notice to clean my house and prepare the guest room, when I assume she's known for a while that she had folks flying in from out of town.
I know I could've said no, and probably should've, but now that I'm obligated, I'm just interested in the etiquette here. If you offer to host out-of-town guests and end up putting yourself out of your own home, is becoming someone else's guest really the most elegant solution?
GENTLE READER: As you know, you should have said no. Your friend doesn't know how to say no, either, or she would not find herself crowded out of her own home.
Acting against your own interests is not a violation of etiquette, but Miss Manners believes that you would both profit from learning to say "I'm so sorry, but ... "
Perhaps standing by your word, which is the decent thing to do, will remind you to refrain from making commitments you will later regret.