DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have friends, a married couple, with whom we have vacationed on several occasions. We live in different states, so we don't see them that often.
This past Thanksgiving, we rented a house with them for a week. It was the week from hell. They fought constantly, trading insults; at one point, the wife was so upset that she left the restaurant right after we had all ordered food. It was a long, tense dinner at an expensive restaurant.
Her husband can be very insensitive to other people. It's usually all about him.
My dilemma is that I don't know how to tell my friend that it is no fun to go on vacations with them and that we will not be traveling with them this year. She and I have been friends for 30 years, long before our husbands were ever in the picture, and she is a treasured friend that I don't want to lose.
GENTLE READER: Your dilemma is not that you do not know how to tell your friend it is no fun vacationing with her anymore. Your dilemma is that you do not know how to get away with it -- in other words, how to do it without giving offense and possibly severing the relationship.
Let Miss Manners clear this up: You can't. But you can always turn out to be unavailable around Thanksgiving, or find alternative outings that do not include spouses.