DEAR READERS: On Dec. 6, I published a letter from "Lost in Louisiana," whose daughter's fiance canceled their wedding three days prior to the event "because she's bisexual." The parent was worried about her daughter's new choices in female partners and upset that she had lied, and requested her daughter not bring these women around. After responding to the letter, I heard from members of the LGBTQ+ community -- in particular, bisexual people -- saying I "could have done better" with my response.
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I have since learned that the bisexual community is the largest segment of the LGBTQ+ community, the least visible and the most misunderstood. This has contributed to perpetuating the myth that bisexuality is a halfway point between straight and gay, a "stepping–stone" to people coming out as lesbian or gay, or an identity people claim in order to deny being lesbian or gay. Not true. Being bisexual simply means that the person has the capacity to be attracted to people of different genders. And because one is bisexual does not mean they cannot be monogamous.
I regret that I didn't point out to the parents that their unsupportive response may be a reason their daughter had not come out to them as bisexual earlier. Further, I could have suggested that to become a safe, loving and affirming presence for their daughter, they educate themselves about bisexuality. If they do, their daughter may be more open to hearing their concerns about her choices in partners, which is less about the gender of those partners and more about their treatment of their daughter. -- LOVE, ABBY