DEAR ABBY: I have no family and few friends -- nobody close. My live-in girlfriend of two years and I argue constantly. We no longer share a bedroom, and I feel more like a roommate. I honestly feel I'm being used for money. Her 24-year-old son died from an overdose two months ago, so I can't help but feel sorry for her. She isn't working, and I don't know when she can return.

I don't have the money to move. I wish I did. I'm miserable, she's miserable and I feel stuck. I'm 46; she's 44. I pay rent and 50% of the utilities, which is fine. But how can I ever get out? Moving isn't cheap anymore.

I'm desperate for hope that I'm not stuck here forever. I'm afraid if I move -- even if I live in a tent for now -- she will give up on everything. She has two grown kids, but she was closest to the one who passed. I feel guilty for wanting and needing to leave. At the same time, I'm miserable. She's in therapy and on medicine. Please advise. -- WITHOUT HOPE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR WITHOUT HOPE: Start saving whatever money you can and explore options for other living arrangements, including renting a single room. Staying where you are under these circumstances will make you sick if you don't take control of your life. Your former girlfriend is under the care of a doctor. You are NOT her lifeline. She will survive.

DEAR ABBY: I am friendly with a woman who is wonderful and caring. She calls to ask how I'm doing, drops off coffee to say hi, etc. She has a great heart and soul. Our boys are close in age. That's the problem -- I do not like her children.

Her kids are difficult and they run roughshod over her. She knows discipline is a problem, but she's at a loss. My children don't enjoy playing with them, either. Her kids are careless and don't listen to authority. I want to continue our friendship, but I like her better without the children in tow. Should I speak up or fade away? -- CONDITIONAL FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: Your friend's children can't be blamed for things they were never taught. Tell your friend that when her kids visit your home, you will be establishing some "house rules." If you do, you may be doing that entire family a favor. If her kids cannot comply, inform her that your children no longer want to play with hers and why. She needs that information before her kids become social outcasts. If your friendship with her fades after that, and I sincerely hope it won't, then que sera, sera.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS WHO CELEBRATE THE LUNAR NEW YEAR: The Year of the Rabbit begins today. In Chinese culture, the rabbit is known to be the luckiest of all 12 animals in the zodiac. People born in the Year of the Rabbit are calm and peaceful. They avoid fighting and arguing, are artistic and have good taste. However, they may be insecure and sensitive and dislike criticism, which causes them to be averse to change. I wish a happy, healthy new year to all who are celebrating this holiday. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: In response to "Ageless Lady in Washington" (Oct. 8), who sought a retort to people who ask her age, I had an aunt who refused to divulge her age. She would say to anyone inquiring, "I'll excuse you for asking, if you'll excuse me for not answering." -- JANE M. IN FLORIDA

DEAR JANE: That was a classic Dear Abby retort from many years ago, and one I have also recommended. Readers had fun suggesting answers to the delicate question "How old are you?" Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother lived to 103. She always answered, "I'm old enough to have a past and young enough to have a future." She was still saying this past her 100th birthday. -- MRS. F. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: "Ageless Lady's" letter reminded me of the response my great aunt would use when asked her age. She would say, "Can you keep a secret?" When the person would reply with "Yes, I can," she would then say, "So can I!" That was usually the end of the conversation. -- RITA W. IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: Something I heard in a TV commercial would be a perfect response to what "Ageless" considers a rude question: "Age is just a number. Mine is unlisted." -- CAROLE R. IN ARIZONA

DEAR ABBY: As a child I heard -- and still remember -- my mom's answer to that question. I enjoy sharing it when the opportunity arises: "I'm the same age as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth." I enjoy the look of puzzlement it creates. -- DIANNE H. IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ABBY: I think it's time we stopped behaving as if getting to be a certain age, particularly as women, is something to hide. I hope we will quit giving kids the message that older women are "less than." I know the beauty industry would like to perpetuate that myth for economic benefit, but we don't have to aid and abet them. -- LISA A. IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR ABBY: When I'm asked how old I am, I answer, "When I was born, the rainbow was black and white." -- NOT YOUR BUSINESS IN KANSAS

DEAR ABBY: I once received a birthday card that dealt with the issue perfectly. It had a picture of a falcon on it and it read, "If someone asks your age, tell them what Farquart the Talking Falcon says: None of your falcon business!" -- DAVID S. IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: I am a 59-year-old man. My 50-year-old fiancee lives in a nice home, but after a 15-year loving relationship, she decided last week to be with someone else. She had recently lost a great deal of weight, bought a new car and started to do things I felt were not age-appropriate -- although I never said anything adverse about them.

She's now staying in a weekly rental motel room with him. It leads me to believe they both left relationships and had nowhere else to go. She didn't give me a chance to fight for us (counseling, etc.) or even a heads-up that she was unhappy. One afternoon when I got home from work, I found a note from her saying she was sorry for not being able to tell me in person, but she was doing this for herself.

I have always been an honorable person in any relationship I have had. This is hard for me to understand and move on from. I have never been this hurt and emotionally drained. She will not communicate with me verbally, only through emails and texts. I feel desperate and lost. Please give me any encouragement that there is light somewhere at the end of the tunnel. -- EMOTIONALLY DRAINED IN MAINE

DEAR EMOTIONALLY DRAINED: Although your lady friend didn't give you the chance to fight for her by getting counseling, my first bit of advice is to make an appointment with a therapist and start fighting for yourself. You may not have known your fiancee as well as you thought you did. Once you regain some perspective, you may realize that something changed when she made the effort to start losing weight. (I'm guessing this was around the time she met the man she's now living with.)

Please understand that the woman you invested so much time in was dishonest, cowardly and selfish to have treated you the way she did. I wish you had mentioned why the two of you hadn't married in the 15 years you were together. But, my friend, you dodged a bullet. A licensed psychotherapist will help you to realize how lucky you are.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law recently moved near us. He never misses a chance to one-up others or brag about everything he has. Others have noticed this as well. We are all retired and living fairly well. However, comparisons are made, innuendos are tossed around and he has even referenced our children "needing" their inheritance, while his kids don't "since they have great jobs."

I'm close to my sister and happy to have her near me, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation with her spouse. I try to minimize my time with him and ignore him when he speaks, however difficult it may be. My husband no longer wants anything to do with him, and I can't say I blame him. But I don't want to cause a rift between my sister and me. Advice? -- DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST

DEAR DEALING: There are two ways to handle this. The first would be to recognize that people who feel the need to do what your brother-in-law has been doing usually do it out of insecurity. The second would be to tell your sister how her husband's remarks affect you and your husband -- and that if he doesn't knock it off, they'll be seeing a lot less of you. Then let her handle it.