DEAR ABBY: I have been with my wife for 25 years, married for 22 of them. I love her very much, but sometimes I feel it isn't mutual. We have three children, all girls, ranging in age from early teens to mid-20s. My wife also has an older son from a previous marriage.
My complaint for years has been that I am the least important person in the world to her. The kids, work and friends always come first. I understand that kids have needs, but I should get some attention once in a while. We will be in the middle of a conversation, and if one of them walks into the room, texts or calls, she stops midsentence and totally ignores me. Sometimes I talk to her, and she doesn't even hear me if they are in the room. She and the kids laugh and joke about it, but I don't think it's funny.
I have worked hard to support them, 60-hour weeks and weekends to make ends meet, and I feel like I'm an afterthought to all of them. I spoil them on birthdays, Mother's Day and Christmas. One year not one of them remembered my birthday. Am I overreacting? -- INVISIBLE MAN IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR INVISIBLE: What has been going on under your roof is no laughing matter. But your passivity may be partly responsible for it. You should have told your wife years ago how you felt, but it isn't too late to do it now. Tell her you feel ignored and unappreciated by her and the children. Tell her you are unhappy, and if she wants the marriage to last, she will join you in marital counseling because you are tired of being low man on the totem pole. I don't think doing that would be overreacting. In fact, I think it's overdue.