DEAR ABBY: I recently met the love of my life, and I'm planning to leave my life and family in Arkansas and move to California to marry him. He's recently divorced after a 25-year marriage. My problem is that his ex wanted the divorce, but now she wants him back. She knows he has met someone, but she's constantly telling him she wants a "booty call."
They have two grown children, and their daughter is being married soon. His ex is now threatening that if he brings me to the wedding, she will do something crazy. I know he loves me and he talks to her only to keep her calm, but I feel if he doesn't take me to the wedding he will be highly disrespecting me. He still talks to her even though she has said some nasty things about me, which is also hurtful. Am I being too sensitive? -- PERPLEXED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR PERPLEXED: When this man's ex tells him she wants a booty call, how does he respond? If he's still sexually involved with her, your odds of success with him are zero. He may talk to her (in spite of her saying nasty things about you) because they have children and possibly grandchildren in common. That he would repeat her less than complimentary comments to you does not say much for his judgment.
Under these circumstances, I don't think you should insist upon attending that wedding. Instead, think carefully about the wisdom of leaving your life and family and relocating unless you have a job waiting and a guaranteed timeline regarding marriage.