DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has been hanging out with a group of "friends" since college. He is now 41. The women in this group are unfriendly toward me. They don't say hello or goodbye or even acknowledge my existence when I am around them. I have talked to my boyfriend about this time and again, and he defends their behavior. He says I "lack empathy."
We have been dating for a year and a half, and I realize the other "friends" he surrounds himself with are as bad or worse. (They are heavy drinkers, drug dealers and drug users, and have low morals, poor values, etc.) When I give him examples of how these people treat him poorly and treat me rudely, he brushes it off, saying their behavior and comments don't bother him. What gives? -- LOOKING FOR INSIGHT
DEAR LOOKING: What "gives" is this: Your boyfriend is comfortable with these people because he is like them. If he had higher self-esteem and was more highly motivated, he wouldn't be hanging out with those losers. He'd form friendships with people who live healthy lifestyles, have gainful employment, high morals and better values. That you would spend a year and a half surrounded by a group like this tells me you must be desperate for company.