DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of seven years is very competitive. There is constantly this underlying contest about whose kid is better, whose dog is better, etc. It's silly. They are both great kids (and dogs) in their individual ways, and I suspect he likes to brag about his 11-year-old daughter just to publicize that she's "great."
He often criticizes my son. He also has "house rules" for us that he doesn't hold himself or his daughter to, and becomes upset if I bring it up. I like doing things with him and with his daughter, but not when they're together because it's always them against us. She also hangs on him constantly and whines when I'm around.
I realize I can't change how he acts, but I feel like I constantly need to prove myself to him and stick up for my son. Sometimes I'm a little jealous because he treats his daughter so differently than he treats us. I don't want to feel this way. Can you help me come up with a different way of reacting to it? -- WEARY IN WISCONSIN
DEAR WEARY: Frankly, your question, "Can you come up with a different way of reacting to the way your boyfriend treats you and your son?" surprised me. The traits you have described are obnoxious. I find it hard to believe that for seven years you've tolerated the double standard he exhibits and his constant criticism of your son -- who by now probably thinks there is something wrong with himself -- because of it. Put your foot down (better late than never)! Insist that he stop criticizing your boy and displaying the double standard. If he doesn't comply, for both your sakes, end the relationship.