DEAR ABBY: When my husband died two months ago, my identical twin helped me move in with her. She never married. I do all the chores -- clean six litter boxes, load and unload the dishwasher, etc. I don't know how to operate her washer/dryer, as she has shown me only once. She doesn't like the way I use my phone, set up files, nothing. She also drinks a lot, uses marijuana and is on a starvation diet. If I eat any carbohydrates at dinner, she accuses me of being a "glutton."

At first, she was happy I was here, because on a previous visit she said I was her drinking buddy. I don't usually care much about eating, since my sense of taste is poor. Last night, because I could taste the dinner, I ate more. She accused me of being a glutton and a parasite. She has, as far back as I can remember, always been "MY way or the highway."

I'm tempted to go live in my truck to avoid her constant sniping. I have no money, yet. She loaned me $4,500, and feels that any money I receive from now on must go directly to her. Please help me. -- UNHAPPY TWIN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR UNHAPPY: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. While moving in with your sister may have seemed like a good idea while you were in shock and the initial stages of grieving, unless you want to be her maid for the rest of your days, make other living arrangements. You are being treated like Cinderella.

Repay the loan in installments after you find a job or the estate is settled. Your sister may have always been the dominant twin, but what you are experiencing now is abuse, and for the sake of your mental health, you cannot allow it to continue.

DEAR ABBY: I had a man as a roommate for a year while he worked in town. "Rodney" was a wonderful roommate. After his lease ran out and he was transferred elsewhere, he came clean about his feelings for me. Then the pandemic happened, and he disappeared for two years.

Rodney is now back and wants to live with me part time again. This time he wants more intimacy. He's kind and helpful around the house. He's divorced, very smooth and has a residence 1,000 miles from here. I don't want to be "friends with benefits." I don't know him well enough to know if I want more. But I enjoy his company a lot. I am in my 60s and young-looking -- so why not just have a good time? I still don't want to be hurt. Any advice? -- ROOMMATE ROMANCE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ROOMMATE: Sex with you should not be part of Rodney's lease agreement. What he is proposing seems more like a business deal than an attempt to court you. If you are looking for a relationship that could lead to "something more," do not jump into this without carefully weighing the pros and cons, including the emotional risk involved. If you were willing to settle for a "good time," you wouldn't be writing to me.

DEAR ABBY: I am 66 and a 20-year widow. I live alone but have an active social life with my women friends. We live in a small town with very little to do, but we get together often to watch movies, eat out, etc. I never had children, and all my relatives have passed away. I'm the last family member left.

I'm mostly satisfied (but not happy) with my life. Everything I own is paid for, and I have enough money to last until my death. I have everything (materially) I could possibly want or need, yet I feel something vital is missing from my life. It's not religion; I am a committed Christian.

I could pay cash for anything I want, but I don't want for anything. I do volunteer work, am socially active and involved in my church. Yet, I feel empty inside. Something is definitely missing, and I can't figure it out. I realize I'm blessed, and most people would give anything to sit where I'm sitting. Do you have any ideas as to what's missing or where to go from here? Life is hard and old age isn't for sissies. -- LIVING LIFE IN TEXAS

DEAR LIVING LIFE: You may be experiencing something people call an "existential crisis," which is not uncommon. It refers to someone who wonders if his or her life has meaning or purpose. Rather than dwell on what may be missing from your life, perhaps consider spending some time reflecting on some of the positive differences you make in the lives of others.

When was the last time you helped someone feel better about herself? Have you gone out of your way to do a friend or an acquaintance a favor, or lent a willing ear to someone who needed to talk? If the answer is yes, start a journal. Write your thoughts and activities down and review it when you feel empty. If you do it for a while, it may give you a different perspective.

Discuss your feelings with your friends, some of whom have likely experienced something similar. And make 30 minutes of exercise a part of your daily routine. Exposure to sunlight can lift your mood. But if that doesn't help, schedule an appointment with your doctor to make sure everything is in order emotionally and physically.

DEAR ABBY: Whether my siblings were right, wrong or indifferent, my mom always stood up for them. Even when she knew they lied, she would look at me and say, "I have to believe them. They are my daughters." When I would ask her, "What am I?" she would restate her last comment.

Not surprisingly, my mother and I don't see eye to eye on anything, and I would never feel comfortable going to her for help or advice. She has paid for all my sisters' court costs. When I needed help as a student-teacher, she told me I would figure it out. I always did, but I can never understand why she truly didn't like me. I guess I'm asking when I should just walk away. -- READY TO CALL IT QUITS

DEAR READY: Your mother's blatant favoritism was shameful. To stick around attempting to ingratiate yourself to someone who will never give you the love or respect you deserve would be a waste of time. When should you walk away? You have my blessing to start today. I know you will find it therapeutic.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 47 years. Since she retired from her job, she has become addicted to her DVR. She records everything she can think of to watch "later." She has shows she recorded from last year but hasn't watched, and they take up 90% of her DVR disc. She uses only about 10% for new shows that she watches to make room for other programs. So, every night, we have to watch what she has recorded that day to make room for the next day's recordings.

If I say anything about it, she gets very upset and it causes tension. I don't mind some of the shows, but there aren't that many I will spend time watching. I wish there was a support group for husbands of women who are addicted to their DVRs so we could understand what's going on in their heads. How should I deal with the problem? -- SAVED FOR LATER IN TEXAS

DEAR SAVED: If there is a support group for husbands of compulsive wives, I am not aware of it. The solution may be to inform your wife that she can now stream many of the shows she's been saving on the DVR. A compromise might be viewing one of the archived programs a night in addition to the new ones, if possible. However, if she's not agreeable, consider buying yourself your own television set. That way, you are not obligated to watch anything you don't wish to.

DEAR ABBY: I was offered a beach condo. I invited my friend "Sara," then another and another. These women had heard of each other, but didn't really know each other. I assumed we could all have a great time. When I told Sara I had invited others, she backed out!

It has been three months, and she has refused all invitations to get together. We used to talk daily and see each other weekly. I have apologized. How do I get Sara to forgive me for not having given her a "heads up" before inviting the others? Was what I did so bad that she would end a long friendship? -- MISSING HER IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISSING: No. I suspect Sara may have other reasons for taking 10 steps back, and inviting others to join you was the straw that broke the camel's back. Was she jealous? Did she need time alone with you to confide in you? Have you been able to discuss with her the reason for her extreme reaction? It might save the relationship if you could find out. However, if Sara's unwilling to talk about it, perhaps you should consider yourself lucky to have seen this punitive side of her so YOU can step back.

DEAR ABBY: What is the proper response when someone tells you their relative is going into hospice? "Congratulations, that's wonderful" doesn't seem right. But "I'm so sorry" doesn't seem appropriate either, since hospice is an affirmative action often welcomed by the person who is ill. I would appreciate your thoughts. -- CORRECT RESPONSE

DEAR CORRECT: An appropriate response would be, "I'm sorry to hear this. But if it means the end of your loved one's suffering, it's the right decision."