DEAR ABBY: When my husband died two months ago, my identical twin helped me move in with her. She never married. I do all the chores -- clean six litter boxes, load and unload the dishwasher, etc. I don't know how to operate her washer/dryer, as she has shown me only once. She doesn't like the way I use my phone, set up files, nothing. She also drinks a lot, uses marijuana and is on a starvation diet. If I eat any carbohydrates at dinner, she accuses me of being a "glutton."
At first, she was happy I was here, because on a previous visit she said I was her drinking buddy. I don't usually care much about eating, since my sense of taste is poor. Last night, because I could taste the dinner, I ate more. She accused me of being a glutton and a parasite. She has, as far back as I can remember, always been "MY way or the highway."
I'm tempted to go live in my truck to avoid her constant sniping. I have no money, yet. She loaned me $4,500, and feels that any money I receive from now on must go directly to her. Please help me. -- UNHAPPY TWIN IN MICHIGAN
DEAR UNHAPPY: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. While moving in with your sister may have seemed like a good idea while you were in shock and the initial stages of grieving, unless you want to be her maid for the rest of your days, make other living arrangements. You are being treated like Cinderella.
Repay the loan in installments after you find a job or the estate is settled. Your sister may have always been the dominant twin, but what you are experiencing now is abuse, and for the sake of your mental health, you cannot allow it to continue.