DEAR ABBY: I retired to Malaga, Spain, after my marriage of 38 years ended in divorce. I have gone to dinner with a few men since moving here. This is a lovely community with many retired residents from all over Europe and the U.K. My problem is, after a few dates, they assume that because they bought me dinner it entitles them to sex. I am fit and fairly attractive, but I may be out of touch on dating.
These men have implied to others that we did have sex, and now single and married men are calling me. The only way they could have gotten my number is through these men. I have tried to make light of this, but I'm worried that when my sons or grandchildren visit next month, they will hear something that isn't true. How do I stop this nonsense without causing hard feelings? -- NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL
DEAR NOT LIKE THAT: What has been done to you is vile and disgusting. Someone you refused to have sex with has retaliated with the equivalent of writing your phone number on a bathroom wall. Tell your sons NOW what has been going on so they will be prepared when they visit. And if you accept any more invitations, make clear in advance that you will be paying for your dinner yourself.