DEAR ABBY: I have a huge crush on my husband's friend, "Shane." I think about him daily and fantasize about him every night. He used to come into the place where I work once a month. I wanted to tell him back then how I felt, but I chickened out.
I recently changed jobs, and he came into where I work now. I made a point of talking to him but said nothing about how I feel. I'm sure he could tell by the way I was smiling. I went to the races when Shane was racing and wanted to tell him then. My husband was there and went over to talk to him, so I stayed sitting on the bleachers. When my husband returned, he said Shane asked him where I was.
Abby, I have felt this way for two years. My husband and I have been married for seven. When I'm driving home from work, I fantasize about Shane riding in the car with me. I hurry to get to town hoping I'll see him at the gas station or passing by. I'm considering contacting him on Messenger. I have never thought about my husband this way. Please give me some advice on what to do. -- OVER THE MOON IN MISSOURI
DEAR OVER: Nowhere in your letter did you mention whether your feelings for Shane are reciprocated. If you contact him, what exactly do you plan on telling him -- that you love him? That you lust for him? Your efforts would be better spent trying to figure out what happened to the excitement in your marriage rather than starting a romance with your husband's friend.
If you do what you have in mind and Shane doesn't feel the same way, it will be enormously embarrassing. If he does have similar feelings, your husband will be devastated. The next time you have a fantasy about Shane, I urge you to switch to another channel.