DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter, "Crystal," has a toxic relationship with her mother. Both have battled alcoholism. The mother did some extreme damage that has ended the possibility of Crystal regaining custody of her 6-year-old son. My husband and I hired a lawyer to help her fight for her rights, and we have brought her to our home twice. The last time was right out of the hospital after she nearly killed herself with alcohol poisoning.
Fast-forward: Crystal is trying to mend her relationship with her mother, and now we have become second fiddle. What used to be a daily phone conversation happens now only when I call. When we try to visit them, they make excuses, and they have visited us only twice in the last six months. Her latest plan is to stay overnight with us and spend the following day with her mom.
We are swallowing our pride so we can see our 6-month-old granddaughter, but our feelings are so hurt. Please help me take the high road. Do we talk to her or just feel crushed? -- WOUNDED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR WOUNDED: Your troubled stepdaughter is trying to mend fences with her mother. Try not to take personally that she has tunnel vision right now. I do not think you should address this with her at this time. Let more time elapse, and if her distancing continues, talk to her about it then.