DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old man, married for 25 years. My wife is older than me. In the beginning, it was great, but our relationship slowly started failing, and now we argue about everything. I feel like I'm trapped in a cage. We don't have one single thing in common anymore.
I want a happy life with or without her, but I see nothing but darkness around me. When I ask for divorce, I get accused of cheating and threatened with paying her spousal support for the rest of my life. Marriage counseling doesn't seem to be an option. What should I do? -- WANTS TO BE FREE IN OREGON
DEAR WANTS: If marriage counseling "isn't an option," it doesn't mean you can't get psychological counseling to help you become emotionally stronger. While you're at it, it is important that you talk with an attorney about the divorce laws in your state. Once you have done that, you will be better able to decide if you want to "live in darkness" for the rest of your life, or what you may have to sacrifice in order to be finally free. You deserve to be happy, and frankly, so does your wife, who also appears to be miserable.