DEAR ABBY: I'm one of three sisters. My mother passed away more than 10 years ago. My middle sister has my mom's wedding dress and says Mom gave it to her. My daughter is now engaged. I asked my sister to mail me the dress or, when I visit, I can carry it back myself so my daughter can try it on. We live in the U.S.; my sister lives in Canada. My daughter would not alter it in any way, she would just like to take a photograph in it and have a special moment with it. My sister has refused.
Is this right? It feels like such an ugly, selfish decision. She has three daughters and wants it for them, which I can understand. But how does my daughter trying it on take away from that? I'm having a hard time with this, and I would like to know your thoughts. How can I take the high road but let her know she took the low road and I'm disappointed in her? I don't think she has the corner on the market for caring about our mother just because she got married before I did and has the dress. -- DRAMA ABOUT THE DRESS
DEAR DRAMA: If you want to take the "high road," omit any geographic reference to her refusal. Just say that you and your daughter are "very disappointed" by her reaction and, had the situation been reversed, you would have been "more generous."
You might also consider visiting your sister and bringing your daughter with you, if your sister agrees, so she can try on the dress there. I wish you luck.