DEAR ABBY: My sister and I have a close but complicated relationship. She has always embellished stories about me when she's talking to others, and most of the time they portray me in a bad light. I usually ignore them when they get back to me, because I choose to pick my battles with her.
In the past when I confronted her, she has blown up at me, accused me of being the liar and stopped speaking to me for long periods of time. I value our relationship too much to let it be permanent, so I'm the one who always breaks the ice and tries to resolve things. She has never taken the first step to make amends.
Recently she suffered a traumatic brain injury and, although she's doing well, her "embellishments" have become worse. They have reached the point that other people are questioning me and my motives. I have not confronted her about it since her brain injury because I'm unsure if her behavior has worsened due to her health issues. Some of her personality traits have become amplified since the injury, and I don't know if this is another one.
I don't want to hurt our relationship if this is something that cannot be resolved because of her injury. Should I confront her, or remain quiet and maintain our relationship? -- COMPLICATED IN THE WEST
DEAR COMPLICATED: If confronting your obviously troubled sibling would fix the situation, I'd advise you to do it. But her pattern is to blow up at you, accuse you of lying, not speak to you and not change her ways. Why you would want a "close relationship" with someone like this is mystifying, because the closer you are to her, the more ammunition she has to slander you.
My advice is to distance yourself, and if you hear that she has been telling more lies about you, to give the person a sad smile and say, "You know, my poor sister has had a traumatic brain injury." Period.