DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Peter," has a number of female friends I'm not comfortable with, primarily because they are women he "had" interest in before we started dating. He says he has told them he's taken now and they can't be more than friends, but I don't think they got the message. He recently told me one of them told him a guy had proposed to her but she's delaying accepting in case Peter becomes available. This is the second time something like this has happened.

I believe it's because of the way he relates to these girls. I mean, if he has really made clear in words and actions that he's not interested in them romantically, they wouldn't base their life decisions on the hope that they may still have a chance with him.

Peter may tell me these things because he wants me to know lots of women are willing to have him. But I'm confused at this point about whether he's truly committed to me. Could it be he just likes "talking" to women even though it leads them on? And is this behavior healthy for a future marriage? -- SECOND THOUGHTS

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: You are asking intelligent questions. Unfortunately, not knowing your fiance, I can't answer them. I can, however, offer this: When couples become serious, they stop playing games. If your fiance thinks that causing you to feel jealous or insecure at this point is constructive, he is making a mistake because it won't stop after the wedding. Peter appears to be immature, and that's a red flag. Premarital counseling may help to clear the air.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 28 years. I thought we were very happy for the first 25. The change came when our children all left home. We sold our large house, which I was more than willing to do. But the house we have moved into causes me a lot of anxiety because of the traffic noise. My husband is very forceful about his "right" to choose where we live. He has insisted that the next move is also his choice and has already purchased the land. He claims he has provided for others all these years, and now it's his turn to get what he wants.

Abby, I raised the children, I still have a job and I contribute to every aspect of home life. Although I love him with all my heart, I wonder if I'd be better off throwing in the towel. He refuses to go to counseling, but I have gone, to help with my anxiety. After three years in this new home, I don't see any sign he will change his ways. I have tried talking to him about choosing something different together and moving, but he won't do it. Help! -- BACK UP AGAINST THE WALL

DEAR BACK: I can't change your husband's attitude and, apparently, neither can you. I'm glad you have been seeing a therapist, because it's time to schedule more appointments. Your therapist will help you to decide whether you can continue living with someone who refuses to recognize your contributions to the marriage and who has such a controlling, authoritarian attitude.

You have decisions to make that should not be taken lightly or decided while you are emotional. You deserve peace of mind and an equal voice about where you choose to live.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Dyanne," and I recently had a baby conceived not long after we started dating. While I love my child with all my heart, Dyanne is constantly dropping hints that she wants an engagement ring or a "promise ring." I understand why because she has explained her reasons. But she's pressuring me to provide something I believe should come when I feel comfortable doing it.

While some would say I don't act like it, I'm traditional in some ways for a millennial. I believe that when I give someone a ring, it should be because I plan to marry her. I don't consider marriage the way most do, and think I can just get divorced and it's no big deal. I think Dyanne puts too much emphasis on what others think and that's one of the reasons she wants a ring.

Am I wrong to stall until I feel ready to actually propose and not just say, "Sure. One day we will, and here's a ring in the meantime"? -- UNENGAGED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNENGAGED: Nowhere in your letter did you mention that you love Dyanne. You should not give her a ring and keep her in a holding pattern if you aren't sure you want to follow through with the commitment. Be honest. Tell her you care about her and love your child and intend to responsibly co-parent with her, but you are not ready for marriage and don't know when you will be. That's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a volunteer tour guide for several historic sites. One of them is a cemetery. My fellow guides and I are concerned -- not to mention saddened -- when we see children running around unsupervised, and standing on and climbing on the gravestones. Cemeteries are sacred places in which the dead should be remembered and honored.

When parents or caretakers allow children to use the cemetery as a play area, they fail to teach them respect for the dead or for the survivors who are visiting the graves of their loved ones. They also place their children in danger. Gravestones can fall or tip over. Children have been killed or seriously injured by toppling stones. Flat grave markers can be tripping hazards. When we caution parents about these dangers, we are often met with indifference.

Please urge your readers to take our concern for their children's safety seriously and control their children's activities in cemeteries. -- CONCERNED TOUR GUIDE

DEAR CONCERNED: I'm pleased to pass along your message because it is an important one. Cemetery etiquette is simple: Treat the graves as you would the graves of your own cherished loved ones, or as you would like your own to be treated. This includes no loud chatter, and because there are people in mourning there, not walking on the graves, not leaving chewing gum on the gravestones, keeping pets leashed -- if they are brought there at all -- and teaching children the difference between a cemetery and a playground.

DEAR ABBY: How do you know when a grandparent is no longer capable of babysitting? Recently, my mother-in-law came to visit and, as usual, she babysat our toddler while I ran errands, went to the gym, etc.

When I returned, it was immediately obvious that my son had soiled his diaper, so I changed him. I could tell it had been some time since he had relieved himself. His water bottle and milk were out of his reach because she "didn't want him to spill it," so it had been hours since he had a sip of anything. There were smaller issues as well. I spoke with my husband about it, but he downplayed the situation.

Am I overreacting, or is my husband in denial about his mom's diminishing capabilities? She's planning another visit with us again soon, and I'm sure she expects solo babysitting time. Is this safe? Should I say something? If so, what? Of course I appreciate free babysitting and a loving grandmother, but not to the detriment of my son. -- VERY WORRIED MOM IN COLORADO

DEAR MOM: Ideally, you should have asked your mother-in-law why the diaper hadn't been changed when you got home and realized it hadn't been. Your husband may have minimized what happened because he can't accept that his mother's mental capacities may be diminishing. Denial is common when a parent is in the beginning stages of dementia because the symptoms can be subtle.

Having concerns about leaving your son alone with her is not "going overboard." During her next visit, stay close to home and quietly monitor what she is -- and isn't -- doing. If she is indeed slipping, she needs to be evaluated by a geriatrician, and may need supervision for herself.

DEAR ABBY: Three weeks after I met my love, he proposed. We were married four months later. We hadn't discussed finances, but he did know my income was higher than his. (We are both retired and were widowed when we met.)

After nine months of marriage, we got into some financial problems, and instead of sitting down to discuss it with him, I did what I usually do when I get scared: I bolted. I asked him to leave and filed for divorce.

Since then, I have realized that I still love him and want him in the last chapter of my life. I know I hurt him, and I want to make it up to him, but he's afraid I'll ask him to leave again. I also love his family and miss them all very much. I would never hurt him again. We have been talking, and he has a girlfriend and doesn't want to hurt her. Advice? -- ANOTHER CHANCE IN FLORIDA

DEAR ANOTHER CHANCE: You blew it. Your former husband has moved on since the divorce, as evidenced by the fact that he has a new lady in his life. Learn from his example and move on with yours, because it doesn't appear he will be coming back anytime soon -- if ever.

DEAR READERS: Today we celebrate the birthday of the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., the visionary civil rights leader who was assassinated in 1968. So many of his words ring as true today as when they were first spoken: "All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face-to-face with another problem." (This applies to many aspects of life today.) -- LOVE, ABBY