DEAR ABBY: For years, I've heard about what and where a woman "should" be in her life once she turns the big 3-0. She should have a thriving career, be married with kids -- or at least engaged -- and have a full sense of her worth and knowledge.
I recently turned the big 3-0, but my cards aren't all stacked that way. I have never had a romantic relationship. Most of the men I wanted to start one with only wanted sex with me, and a relationship with someone else. As I entered my late 20s, I began rejecting men who showed signs of wanting only a sexual relationship, and now I seem to have no takers at all. The fact that I have gained weight hasn't helped, either. It's not like once I meet a guy the first thing I say is, "Hey, I want a meaningful relationship." I'm beginning to worry that something is wrong with me. What should I do? -- THIRTY BUT NOT FLIRTY
DEAR THIRTY: There is nothing wrong with you, just as there is nothing wrong with getting to know someone before embarking on a physical relationship. (In fact, I recommend it.) However, to eliminate a man because you think he "only" is interested in having sex with you was jumping the gun.
I wish you had mentioned where you were meeting men. You may have better luck if you figure out what interests you have in common with the men you meet, and develop relationships based on them. And, because you suspect the weight you have gained may have something to do with your problem, resolve to become involved in physical activities that will get you out of the house and into an environment where you'll not only get some exercise, but also meet some eligible prospects.