DEAR ABBY: My husband has a "best friend" from childhood I'll call "Artie," but they have little in common anymore. Finding things to do with him and his wife is a struggle. We like to travel, so we always invite them along, but Artie says "no" to everything. His wife, "Ann," and I are pretty close.
The problem? We all spend a lot of time together (at our home) and they fight constantly! It doesn't matter where they are. Ann shows up at our house in the middle of the night needing a place to sleep. Their fighting has ruined more gatherings than I have fingers and toes to count. I feel like our life is consumed by their toxic relationship. My husband tells me I should just "ignore it." But he's not the one who has to tend to his friend's wife EVERY day. I don't know what to do. Help! -- EXHAUSTED IN ALABAMA
DEAR EXHAUSTED: What you do is draw the line. Tell your husband the unrelenting warfare in his friend's marriage is more than you care to handle. Tell Ann the same thing, and that if she can't sleep under her own roof, she'll have to find other accommodations than your house in the middle of the night. Urge her to get counseling and to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) or a local domestic violence shelter if Artie is violent. As to socializing with them as a couple -- on trips, yet (!) -- explain to your husband that you have lost your appetite for it, and if he wants to see his childhood friend, he should do it without you.