DEAR ABBY: Thirty-five years ago I was raped by a stranger. He told me he would kill me if I ever told anyone. I never told my husband (now ex-), mostly because I was afraid if I did he would never touch me again. So I lived with the secret. It eventually tore our marriage apart and we divorced.
Although we have both moved on and remarried, we have remained in touch. I am 60 now and he is 64. I yearn to tell him the story before one of us leaves this Earth. I want him to understand and hopefully forgive me for the events that drove us apart. The need to tell him is so strong, I cry about it. Please advise me on this. -- STILL NOT OVER IT IN MARYLAND
DEAR STILL NOT OVER: If it will bring you comfort, reveal the secret you hid from your ex-husband. However, before you do, I urge you to first disclose it to someone trained to help victims of rape. If there's a rape treatment center near you, please make an appointment. If there isn't one, a referral from your doctor to a licensed mental health professional would also be beneficial. Trust me on that.