DEAR ABBY: My husband retired a few months ago. I was a stay-at-home mom for most of our married life but have worked part time for several years. I always took care of all the household chores because he supported us financially.
Now he's retired, and nothing has changed. I'm still doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of the business matters and working part time. Although I have always done whatever it takes to keep the peace, I am becoming increasingly resentful. I don't know how to break this pattern. I've never had the nerve to speak up and express my anger or frustration for fear of getting into a huge fight. Can you give me any advice to help me get out of this trap I've built for myself? -- STUCK IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR STUCK: Your husband isn't a mind reader. Ending your silence is the way out of the "trap." It is what has given him license. If necessary, HAVE that "huge fight." It may be the answer to a more equitable sharing of responsibilities. But if it isn't, then it's time for counseling -- to not only help you better communicate, but also, if necessary, mediate.