DEAR ABBY: I love both my parents so much, but I'm definitely closer to my dad. He has been there for me through it all, and now that I'm older, I want to be the best daughter possible to him.
Here's the issue: Dad was older when I came along, and he's impatient for grandkids. I'm 20 and on the pre-med track in college, and my career path will make me a very busy individual for years to come. Because of this, I planned to postpone having kids until later on. I want to be able to spend time with them and be an involved parent.
But doing the math, Dad would be in his 70s by the time I had a child, and I'm worried he won't be able to see them grow up. He says he deserves to have grandkids sooner rather than later and has assured me that he'll take care of them for me so I can work. I feel so torn. I want to make sure he gets to meet his grandkids, but I also feel it would be unfair to them if I can't spend time with them. What should I do? -- ON THE FAST TRACK
DEAR O.T.F.T.: Do not knuckle under to the pressure! Your father "deserves" to become a grandparent when you are ready to have a child, not before. If his health is good, he could live well into his 80s and beyond. If it isn't, he should not be responsible for taking care of small children. For the sake of any child you aspire to bring into this world, do not conceive one because you feel indebted to your father. You will be better able to provide for your family once you have completed your education, internship and residency -- and found a partner.