DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together almost 20 years. When we first started dating, I would have an occasional drink. He said he chewed tobacco, but I never saw him do it. We agreed that I wouldn't drink and he wouldn't chew. I found out later that he continued to do it about twice a year. I feel misled.
He doesn't want me to drink because of some incidents with his family when he was young. I've pointed out to him that this is controlling, but he insists it's not. There are times I would like to have a drink at family celebrations, and I can't and it's awkward. Should I really be held to something I agreed to when I was a young 20-something? -- UNDER CONTROL IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR UNDER CONTROL: It may be time to revisit that deal you made with your husband. If he reneged, you are free to do as you wish. If these "incidents" involved his family, they have nothing to do with yours. And you should not be prevented from enjoying an alcoholic beverage at your family celebrations when you like.