DEAR ABBY: I've been divorced from my husband of 18 years for two years, separated for three. I have encouraged my ex to get out and meet new people. (He stayed home and alone for about two years.) It must have been a New Year's resolution of his because I no longer receive random texts to ask how I'm doing or to make casual conversation.
When I asked him who she was, he replied, "Nobody." Of course, I know him well, and I knew he wasn't being truthful. He's 50; she's 25. I'm grossed out, mostly because our older daughter is 27. The younger one is 22. I know I should be happy for him, but I'm not.
We still celebrate holidays as a big, old, happy family, which I don't mind. We have grandchildren, and I want the holidays to be special. But I have no desire to celebrate them with someone who is barely older than my younger daughter. I know it likely won't go anywhere, but what the heck?
I'm in a happy relationship. Granted, I'm enjoying life and not planning my future or anything like that. My mind says one thing; my heart says another. Do I need therapy? Are these normal feelings? -- THROWN IN MONTANA
DEAR THROWN: It would be abnormal not to have "some" reaction to the new woman in your ex's life. That he's obscuring the truth from you tells me he may feel guilty about the age difference or worried you will be judgmental. Therapy may help you accept that he's now the captain of his fate, so it's no longer necessary for you to help him navigate the seas of life. It would be cheaper to simply let go, allow him to make some mistakes along the way and focus instead on your own present and future.