DEAR ABBY: I just found out my husband has been looking at escorts in the local area. I know he has watched porn, but that never bothered me. When I confronted him about seeing his search for escorts, he said he just clicked on a link that popped up on a porn site. (I have seen them, so I know it can happen.)
However, I now know he created another email address and joined an escort review site. I can't say anything to him because I snooped on his phone. I'm heartbroken and want to believe him, but this is too much. Please help me. -- NERVOUS IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR NERVOUS: First things first. Call your doctor and make an appointment to be checked for STDs. Next, because you know your husband hasn't been truthful, do more "snooping." Learn everything you can about your family finances (if you don't already know) -- the debts and assets, credit card expenses, bank account numbers, etc.
Once you have that information and there will be no surprises, tell your husband you checked his phone and why you felt the need to do it. Do not allow him to make you feel guilty. Ask him what he is getting from escorts that he isn't getting from you, and if the only answer he can come up with is "variety," talk to a lawyer because your exclusive marital relationship is history.