DEAR ABBY: For most of my life I searched for my biological father. My mother had many relationships throughout her life, and I was the result of a one-night stand. I have a half-brother who is the result of another failed relationship. My mother finally married a man who raised us as his own and gave us his last name. However, Mom wouldn't tell me or my brother who our real fathers were.

Over the years I questioned my mother about him, but she would give only sketchy details and sent me down many dead-end trails. After she became terminally ill, I continued asking her for the truth, but she wouldn't budge. My guess is she was ashamed of her past and couldn't bear to tell me, or was afraid my real dad would take me away from her.

Two years ago, I took an online DNA test and amazingly found my biological father. From the time I made contact, he and my new brothers have accepted me and my family and given us unconditional love. I like to say I hit the "family jackpot."

Over the last two years I have wanted to change my last name, but I'm afraid to make the leap. I have a half-brother on my mother's side with whom I share my stepfather's last name. Many times I wanted to ask for his permission/blessing, but I'm worried he will get angry and never speak to me again. I know he will think I am abandoning him if I do this. Am I selfish for wanting this name change, or should I seek to set the record straight? -- RECLAIMING MY NAME IN INDIANA

DEAR RECLAIMING: You certainly have a right to change your name to the one that reflects your identity. But since you asked, I think you should wait to "set the record straight." Your stepfather took you into his home and his heart and gave you his name, and to change it now would be a poor way to repay his love and kindness. It might lessen the blow if you discuss hyphenating your last name. After he is gone, you could shorten the name to your birth father's.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has a key to my house. I didn't give it to her. We left a key under the mat one day so she could get in to pick up something because I wasn't going to be home when she arrived. I asked my husband to get the key back, but he is uncomfortable asking.

She and my father-in-law have been in our house twice more in our absence. We were out of town, and we were shocked to hear they had entered our home without asking. It was almost sneaky the way they did it, and when I talked to my husband about it, he was upset as well and took his anger out on me. It ruined our day traveling. We didn't speak the entire two-hour trip back home.

I asked my mother-in-law via text to please let us know when she was entering the house due to privacy and that I was not trying to hurt her feelings. She's now upset with me and says she doesn't know when she will visit us again. I am tired of being the second fiddle to her. Am I overreacting? It seems I can't win with this! -- KEYED UP IN ALABAMA

DEAR KEYED UP: This is not a matter of playing second fiddle or any other instrument. Your husband should ask his mother for the key back. By doing this now, it will establish your independence. If he can't find the courage to insist upon the privacy you both deserve, change the locks.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a mother of two girls, ages 3 and 5. Their father and I are together, but I'm not in love with him anymore. I have felt this way for two years now.

I'm not excited to see him come home. When I take our children out, I hope he doesn't want to come. When he touches me affectionately, I want to pull away. I have talked to him about it, but he doesn't feel the same way. He wants to do everything he can to fix it. I'd love that too, but I no longer feel any connection to him.

He's not a bad guy. He gives me plenty of attention and is good with the kids. I feel like an idiot. What kind of person even thinks about breaking her family up when they've got someone so great? How much time should I give this before I call it quits? How much couples counseling should we pay for before we can say we tried, but it didn't work? Should I stay for the kids even though I'm not happy with him? -- JUMBLED IN OHIO

DEAR JUMBLED: I would love to know what happened two years ago that caused you to begin withdrawing from your partner. You ask what kind of person thinks the way you do? The answer may be a woman who is bored, confused, disillusioned or has stopped putting in the effort that's required to maintain a satisfactory relationship. Or, you may not have been in love with him in the first place.

If you're sincere about it, try counseling, first to determine where your relationship went off track, and second to find a way to save it. Your daughters are little. They don't need their lives disrupted. Be sure the person you and your spouse choose is licensed. Give it a year. By then both of you will know whether it was worth the money.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 63 and retired. I have two grown sons and grandchildren. Some of them are young, and some of them are young adults.

My husband of 10 years and I have decided to adopt the RV lifestyle and travel. My sons are always busy with their own lives and hardly ever reach out to me except to ask me to baby-sit or to tell me I "need to come see the grandkids." They make no effort to visit us, although we winter in the same state not far from them. I'm lucky if I ever receive a "How are you doing, Mom?" phone call. We see each family during the holidays.

When we travel, we'll be on the road four to six months at a time. Contact will be by phone or through social media only. I feel guilty for doing this. Why? -- GUILTY IN TEXAS

DEAR GUILTY IN TEXAS: If I had to guess, you feel guilty because you think it is your duty to be at your adult children's beck and call. You have a right to the adventure awaiting you, and I hope you and your husband will go ahead with it. If you do, you will make lifetime memories and new friendships together. If an emergency arises, you can always hightail it back. Remember: You have earned this, so please allow yourself to enjoy it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a middle-aged woman who has survived a 30-year toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. I am now blessed to be able to divorce him and get therapy for his emotional abuse. I have six amazing grown children. I'm also a sophomore in college and have a part-time job. This is the first time in my life I am able to actually do things by myself. To say the least, I am busy.

Most of the time, I enjoy it -- shopping, movies and even dining out. However, for some reason (especially while dining out), I get unwanted expressions of sympathy for being alone. Strangers comment about how sad it is to see me eating all alone. One woman offered to introduce me to her brother. She went so far as to ask for my phone number so she could pass it along to him, so that way I would have company.

I have friends and family, and if I had wanted company at that time, I would have invited someone. Sometimes I want to be alone to enjoy my "me" time. How can I respond to these unwanted comments and nip the conversations in the bud so they don't disrupt my entire meal? -- ALONE BUT NOT LONELY IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ALONE: Here's how. Smile and thank these kind people for their thoughtfulness. Say that at this point in your life you are enjoying freedom and comfortable solitude. And the next time you enter a restaurant, ask the host to seat you farther back, so you are not the first person these individuals encounter on the way to their table.

As to the sweet lady who tried to fix you up with her brother, I hope in the future you might be open to whatever possibilities come your way.

DEAR ABBY: I just started seasonal housecleaning, and I'm realizing my house is filled with useless knickknacks. When I get rid of an unneeded item, I remember who gave it to me and the special occasion associated with the gift. Then I start feeling guilty and wonder if I will later regret my decision to discard it.

My other issue is, I live in a small town. I'm afraid if I donate something to a local charity, friends or neighbors may see it at the thrift store, and I'll seem ungrateful for their thoughtfulness. How can I get over these feelings of guilt as I declutter? -- CRAMPED IN THE CAROLINAS

DEAR CRAMPED: Once a gift (or tchotchke) is given, it is the recipient's to do with as she chooses. If someone challenges your decision to donate an item, do not become defensive. Calmly explain that you are downsizing and decided to "share the pleasure" the item brought you with someone else.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a professional ballgame by my landlord, who has season tickets. He asked that I remind him to give me the ticket because he sells the ones he doesn't use. I have "reminded" him three times now, but I still haven't made it to a game.

When you invite someone somewhere, is it polite to make them do the work? He brought it up to me; I didn't ask. Am I wrong? -- ANNOYED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ANNOYED: Asking someone to remind you of something makes sense if the person is more organized than you are. However, it is inconsiderate to extend an invitation and not follow through. I don't blame you for feeling annoyed because, after three reminders and no follow-through, it appears your landlord may not have been sincere in inviting you, or has sold the tickets to someone else.