DEAR ABBY: A friend I have known for about 10 years messaged me again tonight saying she was going to commit suicide. I tried to get her to go to a hospital, but she refused. When I told her I was going to contact the police, she backed down a bit. This has become an almost-nightly occurrence.

She's going through a rough patch right now. She's breaking things off with her drug-addicted longtime partner. She is also underemployed, in danger of being evicted and has cancer.

It is tough on me to talk her down from the ledge every night. Many of her problems are of her own making, but she can't seem to see that. She can't afford therapy. I have taken her to Al-Anon, but she quit after a short time.

I don't know what to do. I hate to break it off with her because I'm afraid she will kill herself. I am the only friend she has left. How much longer do I hold on? -- SUCKED DRY IN KANSAS

DEAR SUCKED DRY: Because your friend is calling nightly threatening to harm herself, it appears she is using you to vent. That's all right if it's consensual and you have the emotional strength to handle it. If you don't, and because you describe yourself as emotionally depleted ("sucked dry"), I'm advising you to start screening your calls. I'm not advising you to shut her out completely, but to allow yourself not to answer your phone unless you are feeling up for it. And if she threatens suicide again, follow through on contacting the police.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl and I need my own bedroom. Ever since I was born, I have shared a room with my 17-year-old sister. Maybe it was OK when we were younger, but now it is impossible. It's crowded and annoying. I have no privacy, and I can't decorate it how I want.

What makes this worse is that we have an extra room. My parents refuse to consider it and won't give me a reason. It has gotten so bad I have moved into a closet. Every time I walk into my room I get a headache. I never hang out there anymore. Please help. -- IN THE CLOSET IN N.Y.

DEAR IN THE CLOSET: Your parents may be hoping you can come to a truce with your sister without having to sacrifice their guest room. If you feel your bedroom is crowded, it must be the same for her. If a truce isn't possible, then you will have to continue hanging out in other parts of the house.

Although it may be inconvenient for you, your sister can't help that she exists, and the sooner you accept it, the sooner your headache will lessen. As to redecorating the bedroom to suit your taste, be patient awhile longer. At 17, your sister should be nearly out of high school. In another year she'll be 18, and the room will be all yours if she plans on going to college or finding a job, roommates and independence.

P.S. At that point, don't be surprised if you miss her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married father with a son 19 months old, and a baby girl on the way. While I couldn't be more excited about my daughter's impending arrival, I'm unsure about whether there is a right time to stop doing things like changing a diaper or seeing my daughter unclothed because she's a girl and I'm not.

I come from a conservative family, but because this is a new experience for me, I'm not sure how to go about it. I know this dynamic changes when these roles are occupied by a mother and her son, and that a little boy is probably older by the time the transition occurs. I don't want to end up in a position where my wife or daughter regrets my involvement in some aspects of my daughter's life. Any thoughts? -- EXPECTANT DAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR EXPECTANT DAD: Fathers have become far more involved in child-rearing in recent years than they were in generations past, and it's a wonderful thing. You should not be worried that changing your daughter's diapers or giving her a bath will scar her emotionally. In fact, the opposite is true. Discuss this with your wife and your daughter's pediatrician, and I'm sure they will allay your fears.

As to when you should stop seeing your daughter unclothed, you have years before that may become necessary. As she becomes aware of her changing body, she will probably let you know, or her mother will. This is a cultural thing. Some families practice a naturist lifestyle without anyone being "damaged" by it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been working as a desk clerk at a motel in Montana for several years. With travel season here, I was hoping you could help your readers who find themselves on the road to avoid sleepless nights and headaches.

Several times a year many of the accommodations on the interstate can be fully booked due to weather or local events, and travelers are sometimes forced to drive several hundred miles to find a room for the night. You can help your readers by reminding them that they should start checking on motel occupancy early in the day, or even the day before, if they know where they would like to stop for the night. That way, situations like this can be avoided, and they will have a more enjoyable and relaxing trip. -- ON THE ROAD AGAIN

DEAR ON THE ROAD: Thank you for the suggestion. Many of my readers take road trips during the summer months, and I hope they'll remember your letter before they start the ignition and head for the highways.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I live next to a married couple our age we have befriended. Unfortunately, the husband has been making unwanted advances toward my girlfriend. Being friendly with them both, we have kept it to ourselves so as not to hurt the wife. She's ill and has been in and out of the hospital.

The husband is approaching my girlfriend saying he needs "stress relief" because his wife is ill. We now feel something needs to be said to the wife, but we still have to live next door to them.

We're at a loss. What's the best way to handle this? -- HAD ENOUGH IN FLORIDA

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: The next time this man hits on your girlfriend, she should tell him bluntly that it's not her job to "relieve his stress." That is his responsibility. She should also tell him if it happens again she'll tell you AND his wife what he's up to.

As to being friendly with this couple in the future, FORGET IT. That bridge was burned the first time he stepped out of line.

DEAR ABBY: I have a colleague who's a drama queen. Perhaps I'm a little bit guilty, too, but "Sharon" talks excessively about her personal life. There's the boyfriend who doesn't support her and their 2-year-old child financially or emotionally, her mom who suffers from many medical conditions, and her neighbor whose daughter was murdered some months ago. Sharon's life seems to be a magnet for drama.

My colleagues and I have lent our ears and our shoulders to cry on. I have also tried to advise her (like you do) to no avail. I have now reached my limit. Is there a tactful way to deal with her? We work in proximity at least half the time, so total avoidance is not possible. -- INUNDATED IN HAWAII

DEAR INUNDATED: If Sharon asks you for advice, tell her you don't have any more to offer. And if she starts dumping on you, handle it by saying kindly, but firmly, that you need to work and don't have time to listen. If you say it often enough, Sharon will find someone else to listen. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: Do you have any advice for fathers who don't listen to you? Or fathers who are too protective and don't know how to let go? -- STARGIRL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR STARGIRL: My advice to fathers would be to form as close a relationship with their daughters as they can while the girls are little. Teenage girls whose fathers are involved in their lives tend to engage in sexual activity at later ages.

However, whether a father is "too protective" may be a question of perspective -- the father's or the daughter's. I have heard many adults say in retrospect how much they appreciate that their parents were strict. But I have rarely heard the contrary.