DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We live in a Boston suburb, where all the homes have oil-burning furnaces. Even though we are signed up for a budget plan which we pay all year round so we don’t get crushed each time the oil truck arrives in the cold months, our bill has gone up over a hundred dollars more a month than it was this same time last year. One way we try to save some money is to turn the heat down while everyone is out of the house for work or school and then again overnight when everyone’s tucked into bed. We also all layer up to keep warmer and we keep the house at 68 until bedtime, which I don’t find uncomfortable.

When my parents come up for a visit from their home where they retired to in South Carolina, they freeze if we don’t keep the thermostat set to 72 all day and night. They both spent most of their lives here in New England, but for the past 10 years, haven’t had to deal with the winters we have up here, unlike my in-laws, who retired to Maine and love the cold and winter. So when they come, we keep the house the way we usually keep it, at 68 daytime and 62 overnight.

My parents are due to visit in mid-February, and my husband has already started saying we can’t afford to crank the heat to 72 for the two or three weeks they’re here. Normally they wait until it’s warmer to come our way, but they will be staying with my sister in California all spring to help her after she has some surgery.

I don’t want to get into a big battle with my husband, but I know he’s going to say we have to keep to our “conservation plan” as he calls it.

Don’t you think it is totally reasonable to make sure my parents are comfortable while they visit? It’s just a few weeks out of the heating season, and my husband makes it sound like we’re turning our house into a resort by just making it more comfortable for my parents. --- WANT THEM COMFORTABLE

DEAR WANT THEM COMFORTABLE: I believe your concern for your guests’ comfort is correct. It’s also not hard to see where your husband’s coming from, especially since I too live in an oil-heated home. But for me, good hosts make the comfort of their guests a priority. It’s a kind of golden rule for visitors.

There’s room for compromise in this situation. For instance, a safe space heater or two properly placed could be very useful. One can be set up where your parents will be sleeping, enabling you to reduce the overnight temperature as you normally do.

You might also want to have a couple wraps or sweaters available to loan your now Southern family members, because even if you make your home warmer than usual, they may still feel the New England chill.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I think my boyfriend is beautiful, and I tell him that often, and have since we started out together in college. Even then he was beginning to lose his hair, but it was less obvious then than it is now. His thinning hair didn’t bother me then, and it doesn’t now. But it clearly bothers him, and whenever he is out and/or with people other than me and our immediate families and a few of his oldest friends, he constantly wears a baseball cap. He even wears one at work, where most of the other guys do too at least.

We have started talking about getting married, and I have this picture in my mind of him wearing a baseball cap at the wedding. That doesn’t bother me as much as how his balding makes him feel.

What can I do to convince him it really isn’t a big deal to be balding? --- LOVE HIM AS HE IS

DEAR LOVE HIM AS HE IS: Your boyfriend’s thinning hair may not be a big deal to you, but it clearly is to him. Unlike graying hair, which can be easily addressed in most cases, hair loss is a more complicated issue for many people.

If he’s open to the idea, you could help him explore medically sound options to slow down or prevent further loss. If he isn’t open to that route, then I believe by continuing to reassure him that you’re happy with him just as he is and going along with his cap-wearing, you’re doing what you can to bolster his confidence and allowing him to pursue his own self-image enhancement needs.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Last fall I was in a really bad place mentally, emotionally, and physically. I won’t list everything that was going wrong for me, but it was enough that I could no longer see all the good stuff in my life. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a whole packet of allergy meds. My brother found me all messed up and got me to the hospital. I was admitted and ended up getting the help I needed.

In my parents’ religion, the one I grew up with, suicide is a sin. So instead of getting any help from them after my attempt they started treating me like a criminal. Thank God my brother and friends have stood with me, but it hurts like hell to feel like my mom and dad continue to judge me and blame me for the state I was in.

How do I convince them their support would mean a s##tload more than their judging does? --- COULD USE THE SUPPORT

DEAR COULD USE THE SUPPORT: Rather than being able to step into someone else’s shoes, it’s easier for some people, like your parents, to turn to beliefs they’ve held all their lives to try to deal with difficult events. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t care. They just don’t know how else to respond.

If you’re still receiving mental health services, which I’m guessing and hoping is most likely the case, it might be helpful to see if you can arrange a family counseling session with your provider so your parents would have a chance to ask questions or at least get some guidance and advice from a professional trained to handle situations like the one you’re all currently facing.

Be prepared for the possibility this one step won’t be enough to completely change their thinking, but at least you’d have an opportunity to open up with your parents about what you’ve been dealing with, the pain that caused you to take such a drastic step, and how their support of you could make a huge difference in your recovery.