DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My wife and I work for the same company. They hired us as a team, and knew we already had two children when we started.
My wife is now early in her second trimester with our third baby and is starting to show. We have no qualms about sharing the news of her pregnancy with our bosses, especially since they run a “family friendly” business.
Once they find out my wife is expecting, they’ll assume she’ll have the baby and return to work. However, the cost of all-day childcare for three, especially with one being an infant, will be nearly $1,000 a week, which is not that much less than what my wife makes after necessary expenses and taxes. Besides, we always said if we had more than two kids, she’d stay home with them and find something parttime, if possible.
We can afford to make a go of it on my salary alone for at least a year or two. That’s one reason we can even consider having my wife stay home for awhile. I’m concerned, though, that since our boss will be losing half of a team, she’ll decide to cut me loose, and then the situation would change radically.
My wife says we need to tell our boss asap about our plans, so steps can be taken to bring someone in while she’s still around to help with the training. I am more inclined to wait as long as possible, even if it means after the end of her maternity leave, to tell our boss she isn’t coming back.
Which of us do you think has the better plan? --- WHEN SHOULD THEY KNOW?
DEAR WHEN SHOULD THEY KNOW?: If your wife is starting to show, you’re not going to be able to keep what’s going on a secret much longer; and once your boss knows, it may be the wisest course to keep your future intentions vague at least initially. That’ll give you and your wife time to get a feel for how your employer reacts to the news, how supportive she is, and perhaps even allow for a conversation about post-partum employment possibilities for your wife, especially if she’s interested in working parttime once the baby arrives.
Obviously, if you two have contractual obligations to continue providing service as a team, your options are more limited, and some decisions will be made for you. Formulating a couple different plans, both for exiting and continuing with the same company would be a good idea before announcing that your wife isn’t going to return to work fulltime following her leave.