DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though everyone says it’s just his personality, I am having a hard time being around the husband of one of my friends. He flirts constantly, with all the women, no matter their age or relationship to him or his wife. When I have spoken to my friend about it, she says it doesn’t bother her anymore. She knows it’s harmless, and it used to bug her when they were first together, but she just ignores it now. She said she knows he loves her and isn’t looking for any outside action. She also said that he used to be in sales, and that a lot of his personality comes from that experience.
That may all be true, but the way he is makes me very uncomfortable, and I am always nervous when he shows up.
Would it be weird if I said something directly to him about how uncomfortable it makes me? --- DON’T LIKE THE FLIRTING
DEAR DON’T LIKE THE FLIRTING: Giving your friend’s husband the benefit of the doubt, it’s just possible he doesn’t see his behavior as flirting, just the way he relates to women. While it’s far from ideal, if his manners led to successful sales in the days he was in that line of work, it just gave him more reason to think it’s a winning way to be.
Clearly, it doesn’t appeal to everyone, and if he was any good as a salesman, if you gently shut him down when he makes you feel uncomfortable, hopefully he’ll take the cue and find a different way to relate to you.