DEAR NATALIE:  I recently left my husband of 12 years. We were very affluent because of his work. I am finding it hard to readjust to a different lifestyle. We have a small daughter and share custody. I left him because he has cheated on me repeatedly. He told me that since I have left, he is heartbroken and reassessing his life. He wants me back and promises that he won’t cheat on me again. I want to believe him. I miss him, I miss my home, my old life … all of it. I am not sure what to do. I have been going to therapy and my therapist told me it is a bad idea to return to him. He doesn’t think he has changed and just will continue old patterns of behavior. What do you think? Can an old dog learn new tricks? — MISSING MY LIFE� DEAR MISSING MY LIFE: Talk is cheap. I don’t know what he has done besides say words that would lead you to believe that he has changed. Is he going to therapy? Has he offered to do things for you or the family that he hasn’t in the past? Is he an open book? What is different? While you may miss the lifestyle, do you honestly miss him? Do you miss feeling suspicious and unsure of where you stand? How is he making amends? He didn’t just hurt you, he blew up his family, too. Your daughter has to live with this, as well, and if you keep boomeranging back to a man that hurt and mistreated you, what example does that set for her? I won’t tell you what to do, but I will tell you to think long and hard about this. Money is nice, but having a sense of self can’t be bought.

DEAR NATALIE: I have two kids under the age of four, and they can’t yet be vaccinated. My family has been cautious during the past few years, and we have missed out on a lot of social functions. Recently, we just started allowing our kids outside with other kids who we know well. It has been an extremely challenging time, and we know they are restless. So you can imagine how frustrated I was that on Easter my sister-in-law brought her teenage kids who were sneezing around my kids. She told me they were “fine.” Of course, two days later, she called me and said they both tested positive for Covid. My whole family is outraged. Why would you bring your kids to an event – around elderly grandparents and my unvaccinated children – when they have symptoms? She is somehow irritated with me, saying that I am being dramatic. So far, my kids have not shown any symptoms, but I will continue to test and monitor them. My frustration is at an all-time high. I don’t know how to deal with this in the future. What should I tell her? -BAD MANNERS

DEAR BAD MANNERS: You have every right to feel frustrated. Your sister-in-law may want to live in a state of denial, but unfortunately her choices impact others around her. The next time you have a family gathering, ask her if everyone is feeling well ahead of time. If someone has the sniffles, ask her to test them. If she refuses, then you have to decide if you want to bring your family around them or not. You can also wear masks and keep your distance from her, as well. Remind her that this isn’t just about your kids, but their grandparents, too. I know everyone wants this to be over. Mentally, people are fatigued. I get it. However, it isn’t over and you have every right to stand up for your family and protect them. If she can’t deal with that, then I guess you won't see her for a while. 

DEAR NATALIE: My close friend – well I thought she was my close friend – has been talking behind my back to other people at our office. We were both up for a recent promotion. I got it, she didn’t. In my defense, I have been there longer and have more experience than she does. When she didn’t get it, she congratulated me on the promotion. I thought everything was fine between us. Then, I got a call from another colleague at work saying that she is telling everyone that I only got the promotion because I kissed up to our supervisor. The reality is, I have been there even longer than our supervisor and when she came on the scene, I helped her acclimate to the organization. She took me under her wing. There is nothing wrong with that. I don’t feel like I should have to explain myself. I was really proud of this promotion, but now I feel depressed about it. My husband says to let it go, but how can I? I have to be around her at work and she’s acting fake to my face. Any ideas on how to handle this? -FAKE FRIEND

DEAR FAKE FRIEND: This person has a case of the green eyes. It is not your problem that you worked your way up the ladder. If you secured the job fair and square – and it sounds as though you have – then she’s the one who needs to let it go. I would reach out to her privately and ask to meet. Let her know that you have “heard chatter” around the office about things that she is saying. Give her the opportunity to acknowledge and apologize. If she does, move on. Keep your emotional distance, but move past it. Chalk it up to petty jealousy. If she won’t acknowledge it or if she becomes defensive, then let her know you are hurt. Keep your distance and wish her well. I wouldn’t put up with that kind of energy in my life. It isn’t worth it. Like my gram would say, “To hell with her.” And keep it moving.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter

@NatalieBenci and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

Check out her web series:

“Heating Up Show” on YouTube.

DEAR NATALIE: Recently, I was at a work event with my business partner (who is a dear friend) and her husband. When she stepped away, he reached over and told me that he’s had a “crush on me for years.” I was shocked to say the least. I am newly divorced and sorting things out. When I told him that I wasn’t interested, he just shrugged and walked away. My business partner asked me what he had said, and I just mumbled that it was something about the event. I don’t think she believed me, but I shut it down. Well, he called me last night. He begged me not to repeat what he said to me. He didn’t deny how he felt, but he just kept saying, “She can’t know. Please don’t tell her.” I told him I wouldn’t, but I feel sick about the whole thing. Does she have a right to know? I now feel so uncomfortable around him and it’s so awkward. How can I keep on like nothing happened? -SILENCE ISN’T GOLDEN

DEAR SILENCE ISN’T GOLDEN: Yikes. This is awkward because not only are you friends, but this is your business partner. If things were to come out, it could really destroy everything you are building. I would bite my tongue on this one. If he never brings it up again and doesn’t act inappropriately moving forward, then just try to put it behind you. Of course, that means you may not want to socialize with him for a while until things cool off, but that’s probably for the best. If something is going on in their marriage, you will probably find out about it sooner or later. Why put yourself through a nightmare if you don’t have to? He was wrong to do what he did. It was reckless and gross. His quick reaction to be remorseful makes me think that he does realize what is at stake and at least he acknowledged that. Steer clear of him for now. Focus on the business and work towards your goals. If he tries anything again, however, you may have to take it to the next level and let her know. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. 

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend has this annoying habit that whenever I don’t want him to touch me, he purposefully hangs on me in public. I am not into PDA. He knows this. He is very needy. I know this. We made a pact that when we are in private I give him the attention he needs, but in public he gives me the space that I need. But, whenever I am annoyed with him, he likes to make it worse by trying to hug or kiss me in front of people. I don’t feel comfortable with that at all. He likes to play the victim and make me feel bad. He’ll say things like, “I’ll go find it somewhere else if you won’t give it to me.” The other night we were in a big argument over this and I am sick and tired of it. I don’t know how else to explain to him that I don’t like PDA. What should I do to make him understand? -NO TOUCHING, PLEASE

DEAR NO TOUCHING, PLEASE: I don’t care for how he is speaking to you on this topic. You clearly stated boundaries around PDA. You offered a compromise. He doesn’t seem to want to respect it. By vaguely threatening to cheat on you if he doesn’t get what he wants is a huge red flag to me. I would stop this in its tracks now before this behavior worsens. Say to him, “If you can’t respect the boundaries we have created together and discussed, then I don’t know how we move forward. I don’t want to be with someone who threatens to leave me or cheat on me when they don’t get their way. If this is a deal breaker for you, tell me. We don’t have to be together.” See what he says. If he is taken aback, good. Maybe he needs to recognize that words have power. We shouldn’t say things we don’t mean. If his behavior continues, then you need to reevaluate if it is worth living with someone who doesn’t respect you or your need for personal space. Why be unhappy? Life is too short. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com. Follow her on Twitter

@NatalieBenci and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

Check out her web series:

“Heating Up Show” on YouTube.