DEAR NATALIE: I have two kids under the age of four, and they can’t yet be vaccinated. My family has been cautious during the past few years, and we have missed out on a lot of social functions. Recently, we just started allowing our kids outside with other kids who we know well. It has been an extremely challenging time, and we know they are restless. So you can imagine how frustrated I was that on Easter my sister-in-law brought her teenage kids who were sneezing around my kids. She told me they were “fine.” Of course, two days later, she called me and said they both tested positive for Covid. My whole family is outraged. Why would you bring your kids to an event – around elderly grandparents and my unvaccinated children – when they have symptoms? She is somehow irritated with me, saying that I am being dramatic. So far, my kids have not shown any symptoms, but I will continue to test and monitor them. My frustration is at an all-time high. I don’t know how to deal with this in the future. What should I tell her? -BAD MANNERS
DEAR BAD MANNERS: You have every right to feel frustrated. Your sister-in-law may want to live in a state of denial, but unfortunately her choices impact others around her. The next time you have a family gathering, ask her if everyone is feeling well ahead of time. If someone has the sniffles, ask her to test them. If she refuses, then you have to decide if you want to bring your family around them or not. You can also wear masks and keep your distance from her, as well. Remind her that this isn’t just about your kids, but their grandparents, too. I know everyone wants this to be over. Mentally, people are fatigued. I get it. However, it isn’t over and you have every right to stand up for your family and protect them. If she can’t deal with that, then I guess you won't see her for a while.
DEAR NATALIE: My close friend – well I thought she was my close friend – has been talking behind my back to other people at our office. We were both up for a recent promotion. I got it, she didn’t. In my defense, I have been there longer and have more experience than she does. When she didn’t get it, she congratulated me on the promotion. I thought everything was fine between us. Then, I got a call from another colleague at work saying that she is telling everyone that I only got the promotion because I kissed up to our supervisor. The reality is, I have been there even longer than our supervisor and when she came on the scene, I helped her acclimate to the organization. She took me under her wing. There is nothing wrong with that. I don’t feel like I should have to explain myself. I was really proud of this promotion, but now I feel depressed about it. My husband says to let it go, but how can I? I have to be around her at work and she’s acting fake to my face. Any ideas on how to handle this? -FAKE FRIEND
DEAR FAKE FRIEND: This person has a case of the green eyes. It is not your problem that you worked your way up the ladder. If you secured the job fair and square – and it sounds as though you have – then she’s the one who needs to let it go. I would reach out to her privately and ask to meet. Let her know that you have “heard chatter” around the office about things that she is saying. Give her the opportunity to acknowledge and apologize. If she does, move on. Keep your emotional distance, but move past it. Chalk it up to petty jealousy. If she won’t acknowledge it or if she becomes defensive, then let her know you are hurt. Keep your distance and wish her well. I wouldn’t put up with that kind of energy in my life. It isn’t worth it. Like my gram would say, “To hell with her.” And keep it moving.
Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to
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