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by Abigail Van Buren

Marriage Is Not in the Future for Man With Divorce in His Past

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mom. I have a man in my life who I have been with for almost four years. He went through a bad divorce during the time we got together, and anytime I try to mention marriage in the future, he gets upset. I'm unsure what to do or how to respond anymore.

I know my kids aren't his, so he owes us nothing, but I need more stability and the assurance that if something were to happen to him, we would be OK. I'm 35 and have never had the chance to get married, only to find out that he never wants to get married. So what do I do? -- MYSTIFIED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MYSTIFIED: Talk to your significant other. Keep the conversation calm and tell him what you wrote to me. Add to it that after four years, he should know by now what your needs are and that he can trust you -- but you need stability for your kids' sakes and your own. If he can't bring himself to make another trip to the altar, a trip to a lawyer's office might yield an agreement that meets your needs and his. However, if he refuses to consider it, then what you must do is move on.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce