DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 10 years and were legally married a year ago. Our wedding was last-minute because my mother asked us to move the date up and make it happen fast. We obliged because she was very sick at the time, and we put the wedding together in nine days. The ceremony was beautiful. My mother passed away days later. It is obvious to me now that she knew she was terminal; however, I did not.
Since the date of her death is so close to our anniversary, it's a very emotional and hard time for me. I would prefer to celebrate on a different day, perhaps the anniversary of our first date. My husband tells me that while he understands it's hard for me, the date of our legal ceremony is important to him and worthy of celebration. I just don't feel much like celebrating. Although I know it's not fair to him, all I want to do is mourn the loss of my mother. How should I handle this? -- BITTERSWEET MEMORIES IN FLORIDA
DEAR BITTERSWEET: A compromise is in order. Explain again to your husband that because you lost your mother only a year ago, and this will be the first anniversary after her death, you would prefer to either forgo a celebration this year or celebrate on a different date. Assure him that your sadness will lessen eventually, and when it does, you will be fine celebrating your wedding anniversary with him in the future.