DEAR ABBY: I was lunching with a group of women when the waiter walked up and addressed us as "you guys." Men would be highly offended if a waiter approached a table of men and referred to them as "you ladies." To me, there needs to be another way of addressing women that does not insult them and expect it to be accepted. It would have been just as easy to say, "What can I do for you ladies today?" or something of that nature.
One of the women at our table informed the waiter that we were a group of women, not men. Was she right to correct him? -- PATSY IN ALABAMA
DEAR PATSY: The use of the word "guys" is decidedly casual. I'm sure your server -- who I'll bet was a young person -- didn't intend to insult anyone when he addressed your group as "you guys." While I would not have been offended, clearly your tablemate was. And because she was offended, she was right to speak up -- as long as she did it in a way that didn't embarrass the server.