DEAR ABBY: I have been single for almost three years. I recently started dating a man who, I have realized over the past few weeks, has a problem with me spending time with friends without him. I have explained that it is a healthy and normal thing to have friends and to go do things with them. I have explained that he has nothing to worry about because I am respectful of our relationship and a faithful girlfriend. I have also begun to notice that he has no friends.
I have told him he is coming across as controlling. I don't want this to be a problem with him, and I don't know how to get him to see that it's normal for people to go and have fun as friends. My friends are classmates of mine, both male and female, and younger than I am. One of them is gay. I have explained that as well to my boyfriend. Am I overthinking this as a potential problem or is this truly a red flag? -- CATCHING IT NOW IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CATCHING IT: You are not overthinking anything, and yes, this is a red flag -- not a potential one. The person you have described appears to be so insecure that any activity you have that doesn't include him is perceived as a threat. The longer you remain involved with this person, the harder he will try to socially isolate you. Please do not allow that to happen. End it now.