DEAR ABBY: My wife and I and four friends were waiting to be served at a restaurant. All four of them began staring at their cellphones. Because I am not a cellphone owner and I spotted a magazine on a nearby table, I picked it up and started reading it. When we got home, my wife said she had been ashamed of my rudeness. Do you think I was rude? -- TIT FOR TAT IN TEXAS
DEAR T.F.T.: Under the circumstances, no, I do not think you were rude. In light of the fact that the others were staring at their cellphones, you should have pleaded self-defense and been found not guilty.