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by Abigail Van Buren

Trash-Talking Couple Banned From Daughter-in-Law's House

DEAR ABBY: I have meddling in-laws. Anytime my husband of 20 years and I have a disagreement, he calls his parents to complain about me. On six different occasions, I found messages and Facebook chats between my husband and my in-laws in which they called me a bad mother, a terrible person, crazy, evil, the devil and disparaged my family.

Because of this, I have cut off contact with his relatives, and they cannot come to our house. My husband insists on being around them, and we argue because I want our 9-year-old son to have only limited contact with them. I don't want them tearing me down in front of him. I also expect my spouse to spend time with me and our son at holidays, but my husband says I'm being unreasonable and I should just "move on and let it go." His parents refuse to apologize. They say they have done nothing wrong. I need some objective advice. -- MISERABLE IN MISSOURI

DEAR MISERABLE: The person who has done something wrong is your husband. He should not have gone running to Mommy and Daddy when you had a disagreement. What they did was accept his side of the story and support their wounded child.

I don't blame you for not wanting your son subjected to any smack talk from his grandparents. Wanting to shield him from that doesn't make you crazy, evil, etc. Bury the hatchet with them if it's possible, and drag your husband to a licensed marriage and family therapist so he -- and you -- can learn to disagree like adults.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Marriage & Divorce