DEAR READERS: At sundown, the first night of the major Jewish holiday of Passover begins. It celebrates the first and most momentous event in Jewish history -- the liberation of the Jewish people in Egypt. Wishing a happy Passover to my Jewish readers! -- Love, ABBY
DEAR ABBY: Last year, my across-the-street neighbor backed into my car. At least, that's what I think happened.
My car was parked legally on the street, and there was a huge dent in it. I called the police and, based on the location of the dent and the neighbor's driveway, the officer determined that the neighbor had backed into it. Furthermore, light blue paint from my car was on her car's bumper.
When the officer went across the street, the neighbor came running out screaming at him. She was hysterical and belligerent, and she denied it. Eventually, the officer told me that even though he was certain she did it, there was nothing he could do since it was her word against mine.
I had never met this woman before, but she is mean, and I often hear her screaming and cussing at her small children. Last week, I arrived at work to discover that my company had hired a new clerk. I'll give you one guess who it is. I don't think she realizes I'm her neighbor. I must interact with her often at work, and so far, I've been professional but chilly toward her.
At some point, she's going to see me in my yard and realize I'm her neighbor. Should I clear the air now, or should I pretend it never happened? I'm still angry because she cost me a lot of money. -- ANGRY NEIGHBOR
DEAR NEIGHBOR: I see nothing to be gained by "clearing the air" with someone you know is emotionally unstable. Let it ride, keep your distance and remain cool. If her problems manifest at the office, she may not be there long. And at home, stay away from her AND her driveway.
Past Betrayal Casts Shadow on Present Relationship
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years. We live together along with my two older sons, ages 30 and 33.
He doesn't spend much time with me because he's either working or hanging out with the guys at the bar. I do have jealousy issues. He looks at and talks to other women when I am with him.
My former husband used to be out every day until late in the evenings until I caught him cheating with my best friend. It's hard for me to trust again. I truly love my boyfriend, and I don't want to lose him. Should I be jealous or let it go? -- UNDERVALUED IN INDIANA
DEAR UNDERVALUED: Your insecurity is something you need to work on because your jealousy could drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend. If his looking at and conversing with women were a threat to your relationship, it's likely something would already have happened.
Did your former husband look at women and engage them in conversation? I have a hunch he didn't do it openly. That your best friend helped him cheat was another betrayal, for which you have my sympathy. But please don't project their sins onto your boyfriend.
Talk to him. Tell him you need more time together. Make plans for a regular date night and arrange for your sons to be absent. If you still don't have enough of his company and he likes hanging out with his guy friends at the bar, consider tagging along occasionally.
Fortunes Change for Homeless Woman but Not Her Companion
DEAR ABBY: I used to be a successful working woman until I lost my husband of 30 years. After I became homeless, I met "Tom." We've been good friends for the last five years, hanging out in the woods, sometimes getting hotel rooms. It's a platonic relationship, but we rely on each other.
I receive Social Security survivor benefits now, and I want to move on and get my own place. He says he's fine with it, but I feel terribly guilty. He gets a small disability check but is not wise with money. How can I comfort him? -- GUILTY IN FLORIDA
DEAR GUILTY: Tom has told you he is fine with you upgrading your living situation. I presume that you don't intend to desert him. Believe him and stop flogging yourself for your good fortune. Help him when you can and encourage him to contact an agency that helps the homeless so he can get his life back on track, too.
Woman in Same-Sex Relationship Suspects She's Heterosexual
DEAR ABBY: I'm in a same-sex relationship with a woman I love and admire. But five months in, sex is becoming impossible because I think I'm heterosexual. Leaving this relationship scares me because I can't imagine a life without her.
I told her I didn't know if, for several reasons, sex would be a part of our relationship, but that I do love her. She doesn't seem to mind at all. I'm not sure what to do. Please help. -- LOVING IN LOUISIANA
DEAR LOVING: What you need to do is be honest with your partner. It is possible that you are bisexual and need to explore relationships with men before making up your mind about any permanent relationship. If sex is important to you, then the person you wind up with may not be this woman you love and admire, but someone else entirely.
DEAR ABBY: My grandson died by suicide in 2019. My daughter, who lives in another state, hasn't spoken to me since. Why? Because we did not call her on the phone. We were texting her, and she was texting us back. When I did try to call, she wouldn't answer the phone.
It has been more than a year now. She won't respond to other family members, either. Please advise me what to do in this sad situation. -- WOUNDED GRANDMA IN TEXAS
DEAR GRANDMA: Not knowing your daughter, I am hesitant to guess why she has isolated herself from everyone. She may have felt she was entitled to more support from you all and didn't receive it.
As many people have pointed out in my column, while texts may be efficient, they are a poor substitute for a human voice. Because she refuses your calls, write her a letter telling her you love her and apologize for letting her down after the tragedy of losing her son. Whether it will help, I can't guess -- but at least the olive branch will have been offered.
Widower Fears Impotence Will Kill New Relationship
DEAR ABBY: I am a faithful male reader of your column. I lost my beautiful wife of 40 years last year.
During our marriage, I had prostate cancer and decided to have the surgery to remove it. I was told by my doctor that there was a chance I would never again be intimate with my wife, and she was OK with it. Now that she's gone, I have grown close to her childhood best friend. I don't know whether a relationship is in the making, but I'm afraid once she finds out I'm unable to perform, the relationship will die.
I have tried every pill on the market, pump, etc. Is it possible to have a good relationship with someone without intercourse? Or do you think I'm doomed? -- GOING FORWARD IN VIRGINIA
DEAR GOING: I do not think you are "doomed." If you are under the impression that all women your age (and younger) would reject you because you can no longer have sexual intercourse, allow me to reassure you. Many women would value warmth, affection, compatible ethics and morals and an intellectual equal to share their life with. So be honest, and you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that not only are you eligible, but that you are also in demand.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is really popular. We have been best friends since third grade, but when we started ninth grade, she really changed. She started hanging out with the "cool" kids and acting weird. She told me that because I was her friend, I had the automatic right to hang out with them.
I don't like to hang out with large groups of people because I'm afraid of big groups, but I still want to be friends with her. When I told her I'd think about it, she suddenly turned cold. I'm confused. I don't know what I should do. She was there for me since third grade, and I was there for her, and now she seems to be fading really fast -- six years of friendship just forgotten. Please give me some advice. -- FRIEND DRAMA IN MICHIGAN
DEAR FRIEND DRAMA: Sometimes when a person says "I'll think about it," it comes across as a negative reply. Your friend's feelings may have been hurt because she interpreted it as a rejection. It would have been better if you had explained that you are uncomfortable in large groups and would prefer to see her one-on-one if she was willing. It may not be too late to get that message across to her. If the price of her company is that you will have to learn to be more social, you will then have to decide which is more important.
Friend Not Invited to Housewarming Wonders What To Do With Gift
DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker who just built a house. When I asked her what she would like for a housewarming gift, she told me a nice wine carafe with a stopper. So that's exactly what I got her.
I recently found out she had a housewarming party, and I wasn't invited. I had asked her when it was going to be, and she didn't mention a word about it. Am I still obligated to give her the gift I got for her? Or should I write her off and give it to someone else? -- EXCLUDED IN CORPUS CHRISTI
DEAR EXCLUDED: Ouch! Write her off and regift it.