DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently found out we're expecting our first child. We have been married for five years, and while we are still fairly young, this has been a long time in coming. For both of our families, this will be the first grandchild.
My brother is getting married next month. We live in a different state but plan to fly home for the wedding. My husband says we cannot tell our families about the pregnancy on this trip because we don't want to "overshadow the happy weekend with additional good news." This means we would need to tell them over video chat (not in person), since going home for a separate trip is not an option due to COVID.
While I see his point and certainly don't want to overshadow the wedding, I don't see why we can't tell them a few days before the wedding so that it's in person and I won't have to answer a bunch of questions from close family about why I'm not drinking at the wedding. My brother's fiancee and I do not get along, and I'm not in the wedding party (if that makes a difference). Please advise. -- ANONYMOUS MOM-TO-BE
DEAR MOM-TO-BE: I am voting with your husband. Do not upstage your brother and his bride-to-be, tempting as it may be. To do otherwise will take the spotlight off the happy couple and aim it directly at your belly. While this might seem like a welcome opportunity to stick your finger in the eye of a woman you dislike, keep in mind that in a short time she will be family and impossible to avoid. The less friction the better.