DEAR ABBY: My 13-, almost 14-year-old daughter, "Gabbi," is a shining star of responsibility and being self-driven. She also likes nice things.
Gabbi has been babysitting for my sister for several months and has saved almost every penny, which amounts to hundreds of dollars. I'm proud of her discipline. However, I think she should start buying some of her "frivolous wants" herself.
I'm willing to buy her and my other children gifts when I can and on special occasions on my single income, but Gabbi often asks me for $10 here and $10 there. Because it's more than I can afford, I have to say no and see her silent disappointment. I know the simple answer is to not give in, but I want my daughter to learn that it's OK to spend a little on herself here and there. I'm not sure what words to use to convince her. Can you help? -- MOM ON A BUDGET
DEAR MOM: Your daughter is old enough for an honest conversation with her mom. Start by telling her how proud of her you are that she has shown how disciplined and responsible she is because those traits will serve her well in years to come.
Tell her you feel bad about disappointing her when you refuse her requests, but now that she's nearly 14, she's mature enough to understand you are the sole wage earner, money is tight and her frequent requests put a strain on the budget. Then point out that she has saved quite a bit of income from her babysitting, and she should direct some of it toward the items she's asking you for.