DEAR ABBY: My husband's brother has two kids, both of whom are now adults. The older one is in their second year of college; the younger one will graduate from high school this spring. We haven't missed a single birthday for either one. The only time we see them is when there's a birthday or it's Christmas (with a few exceptions, like the occasional funeral).
I think it's time to stop the annual birthday gifts. We're not particularly close, and I'm tired of the forced merriment when it's clear they are only after the gift. How do I tell the parents and the grandparents there will be no more gifts for birthdays without sounding like a stingy old aunt? -- GIFTED OUT IN MICHIGAN
DEAR GIFTED OUT: Unless you want to make a change immediately, hang in there until the younger child reaches 21. At that point, put the parents/grandparents on notice that because "the kids" are now adults, you will be sending cards rather than gifts.