DEAR ABBY: I have married into a family that celebrates birthdays of members who have died. They are not observing the passing, but doing full-fledged birthday events. This is a practice I have never before experienced, and most of these people I have never met. I don't want to be disrespectful, but it seems really odd, especially since many of those people died years ago. It's becoming difficult to do more than express my sympathy for their loss. Is this done by other families? -- BEWILDERED IN FLORIDA
DEAR BEWILDERED: If there is anything I have learned in the course of writing this column, as well as my own journey through life, it is that individuals, families and cultures do not have identical ways of grieving or honoring their deceased loved ones. While it may seem unusual to you, this is the way they remember their loved ones.
Because this is your spouse's family, talk with him about how to navigate this issue without causing hurt feelings. If you are uncomfortable participating in these celebrations, continue to be respectful, but attend fewer of them.