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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Fears Having Sex Could Harm 30-Year Friendship

DEAR ABBY: I have had a crush on a man since we were in our teens. We're now in our mid-40s. Both of us ended long-term relationships about a year ago. We have stayed in contact every now and then, but only as friends -- more like family. He was best friends with my beloved late uncle.

We have decided to meet, with sex at the forefront of our thoughts. How do I prepare myself to go into this with a sex-only mind frame? Do you think this could damage our 30-year friendship? -- NERVOUS IN OREGON

DEAR NERVOUS: It has been my observation that men and women view sexual relationships differently. Women often let their emotions get involved. Men can more easily separate the two. It could absolutely damage your 30-year friendship if what he expects is a casual friends-with-benefits relationship and at some point you decide you need more from this man you have had a crush on since your teens.

Read more in: Friends & Neighbors | Sex