DEAR ABBY: My friend from church casually mentioned that he and his wife recently helped themselves to several buckets of sand from a national park. I'm beside myself trying to understand how they can justify pillaging a natural resource so they can pretend they are at the beach. It's beyond selfish and just plain wrong. What can I say to convince them to return it? Can you help me navigate this conversation while still maintaining the friendship? -- SHOCKED IN HAWAII
DEAR SHOCKED: Start by pointing out to your friends that there are serious penalties for doing what he and his wife did. I ran your letter by my former personal assistant, Winni, who lives in Hawaii. She informed me that, according to the Department of Land and Natural Resources, stealing sand from the beaches is not only against the law, but also punishable with fines of upwards of $100,000.