DEAR ABBY: I'd like to know if there is a nice way of asking my niece and her boyfriend, who are in their mid- to late-20s, not to bring their phones to the dinner table? I have spent days preparing for and cooking holiday meals. The evening was less than enjoyable for me because they were only partly there, and spent most of their time texting and presumably on Facebook.
It's awkward to ask an adult to practice good manners. Any words of wisdom will be much appreciated. -- WELL-MANNERED LADY IN THE WEST
DEAR LADY: Explain to your niece that you spend a lot of time, money and effort on presenting these meals, and that you were hurt and offended at their apparent lack of appreciation. It's the truth. Do not preoccupy yourself with trying to be nice or you will weaken the message. Some families solve this problem by insisting their guests place their cellphones in a basket before dinner and reclaim them as they depart. (Just a thought!)