DEAR ABBY: I am childless, but I have a niece I've given lots of money to over the years. She's in her mid-40s with a young child and a husband who has a low-paying job.
Although she has several degrees, she has worked mostly as a waitress. They live in a tiny apartment and during these rough times, I have been paying their rent. She rarely acknowledges it. I have never discussed it with her parents, and I have no idea how much they have (or have not) helped her.
I'm conflicted about helping her/them because this is such a tough time. I can't see how they're going to make their lives better without help. I'm wondering if you have some advice on how I can best assist them or if I should stop. -- LOSING FAITH IN COLORADO
DEAR LOSING FAITH: You haven't spoken to your niece's parents about what you have been doing. Why not? If you do, it may give you a clearer picture of her situation. I wish you had been more forthcoming about why she isn't using any of the college degrees she has earned. If her parents are helping her, you may need to be doing less.
Your niece should research to find out whether government assistance is available. If it isn't, and you can afford it, consider continuing the financial assistance until the COVID situation is under control. Then your niece and her husband can get back on their feet, and you can stop being treated like an ATM.