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by Abigail Van Buren

Pastor Having Affair Keeps His Engagement Under Wraps

DEAR ABBY: A new single pastor was assigned to my church. He asked if I was single and if I had kids. I told him no, and we began having an affair.

For two years, it was all in secret. Then I began noticing that a single lady from his previous church would visit. He told me she was concerned about him being alone, so she was stopping by on her way through.

Well, I now know she was more than that. While he was having his affair with me, he was engaged to her. When I confronted him, he denied it. They got married in secret, and he didn't tell the church until afterward. Everyone was shocked because he talked so much about being an open book and being truthful. I was and still am in shock. I love my church, but I hate my pastor. Should I leave? -- HURTING IN SECRET

DEAR HURTING: I smell a rat, and it's coming from the pulpit. Your pastor misrepresented himself. His affair with you was, to say the least, unethical and should be discussed with the governing board of your church. You were taken advantage of. One of you should leave.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Religion | Etiquette & Ethics